Tweet
Some of you may know that I'm an avid soccer player. I wanted to share a recent game with you because I think it's relevant to some current issues we're seeing turn up.
Last Sunday, we had a play off game for my co-ed rec team. We were really evenly matched against the other squad, but it certainly felt like we were dominating possession of the ball. It was enjoyable because it was competitive, but friendly.
The other team had a corner kick about 20 minutes through the game. The ball was served beautifully and went right across the center of the goal box. Fortunately for us, everyone missed the thing, and it dribbled out harmlessly to the sideline. Unfortunately for us, one of those missed kicks from the opponent wound up in the gut of our goalkeeper -- and the referee didn't see it.
As our goalkeeper writhed on the ground dry heaving, I jogged over to the referee. As captain, I felt the player was wreckless. It wasn't intentional, but it was dangerous as hell and should have been called. I let the referee have it for completely missing the event. I called the player out that hurt our goalie, calling him dirty and wreckless. Needless to say, neither of them were pleased. I sure as hell wasn't.
I spend the remainder of the half giving little jibs to the ref and nitpicking every missed call in my eyes. I shouted instructions to our players that made not-so-subtle digs at the aggressive, wreckless player. I toed the line very tightly between what was acceptable and what would have earned a yellow card.
Our goalkeeper was fine eventually, but he took me aside at half time and told me to just shut up. He was OK, but he was sick of hearing me go on and on about an issue that had already been ruled on. No matter how right I was, the call had been made. Move on and play the game. He was right too -- I wasn't having any fun at that point and was spending all of my emotions dwelling on that event.
Second half, I talked quietly to the other player and apologized. He told me he felt bad about it, it was a total accident, and he felt guilty. After the game, I talked to the ref, who also said he felt badly about missing the call. But, he had to keep the game going and could only rule on what he saw. The second half was a lot more fun for me and our team because I was able to let it go, and in the end, I was able to talk things out without the heat and drama of the game.
DMs are like referees in many ways. We're here to give role play some structure and make judgements, among other things. There are going to be times players will disagree with a judgement call -- judgements can be very subjective! Heck, there will be times you flat out KNOW you are right and the DM is wrong. I know these situations can be frustrating.
It's OK to explain yourself to the DM once and plead your case. But once the judgement is made, players need to accept it and move on, for the sake of the event, and for the sake of everyone's fun. It's OK to send a PM afterwards, too -- things can always be ret-conned, and nothing is permanent in a made-up world. We are reasonable people and will do our best to explain the decision or change it.
But, ranting during an event over the DM channel during an event is not a good way to handle it when you don't like a decision. Some of our events require a lot of player management -- 20 players at once isn't easy! If we miss something in chat, be forgiving. Don't harp on the same point over and over, flooding the chat please.
Likewise, dwelling on an issue, even subtly, is no fun for anyone. I can recall seeing players dwell on a 3-point chaotic alignment shift six months after it was given out -- six months! -- in posts that resurfaced alignment issues but weren't directly referencing the event. Please don't continue harping on issues once things have been decided. Accept it and move on to the next part of the game.
Like I said, we aren't going to get everything right, but keeping the game going is more important. And of utmost importance is fun -- for us, as well as you. Spending your efforts shouting at the refs will only ruin the game.
Pearls of wisdom from the old man
Last Sunday, we had a play off game for my co-ed rec team. We were really evenly matched against the other squad, but it certainly felt like we were dominating possession of the ball. It was enjoyable because it was competitive, but friendly.
The other team had a corner kick about 20 minutes through the game. The ball was served beautifully and went right across the center of the goal box. Fortunately for us, everyone missed the thing, and it dribbled out harmlessly to the sideline. Unfortunately for us, one of those missed kicks from the opponent wound up in the gut of our goalkeeper -- and the referee didn't see it.
As our goalkeeper writhed on the ground dry heaving, I jogged over to the referee. As captain, I felt the player was wreckless. It wasn't intentional, but it was dangerous as hell and should have been called. I let the referee have it for completely missing the event. I called the player out that hurt our goalie, calling him dirty and wreckless. Needless to say, neither of them were pleased. I sure as hell wasn't.
I spend the remainder of the half giving little jibs to the ref and nitpicking every missed call in my eyes. I shouted instructions to our players that made not-so-subtle digs at the aggressive, wreckless player. I toed the line very tightly between what was acceptable and what would have earned a yellow card.
Our goalkeeper was fine eventually, but he took me aside at half time and told me to just shut up. He was OK, but he was sick of hearing me go on and on about an issue that had already been ruled on. No matter how right I was, the call had been made. Move on and play the game. He was right too -- I wasn't having any fun at that point and was spending all of my emotions dwelling on that event.
Second half, I talked quietly to the other player and apologized. He told me he felt bad about it, it was a total accident, and he felt guilty. After the game, I talked to the ref, who also said he felt badly about missing the call. But, he had to keep the game going and could only rule on what he saw. The second half was a lot more fun for me and our team because I was able to let it go, and in the end, I was able to talk things out without the heat and drama of the game.
DMs are like referees in many ways. We're here to give role play some structure and make judgements, among other things. There are going to be times players will disagree with a judgement call -- judgements can be very subjective! Heck, there will be times you flat out KNOW you are right and the DM is wrong. I know these situations can be frustrating.
It's OK to explain yourself to the DM once and plead your case. But once the judgement is made, players need to accept it and move on, for the sake of the event, and for the sake of everyone's fun. It's OK to send a PM afterwards, too -- things can always be ret-conned, and nothing is permanent in a made-up world. We are reasonable people and will do our best to explain the decision or change it.
But, ranting during an event over the DM channel during an event is not a good way to handle it when you don't like a decision. Some of our events require a lot of player management -- 20 players at once isn't easy! If we miss something in chat, be forgiving. Don't harp on the same point over and over, flooding the chat please.
Likewise, dwelling on an issue, even subtly, is no fun for anyone. I can recall seeing players dwell on a 3-point chaotic alignment shift six months after it was given out -- six months! -- in posts that resurfaced alignment issues but weren't directly referencing the event. Please don't continue harping on issues once things have been decided. Accept it and move on to the next part of the game.
Like I said, we aren't going to get everything right, but keeping the game going is more important. And of utmost importance is fun -- for us, as well as you. Spending your efforts shouting at the refs will only ruin the game.
Pearls of wisdom from the old man
Comment