From the beginning (in common)

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Journal (in elfish):
It is hard to explain the way I felt save for how the flower feels when it opens for the first time. I was absolutely blooming; yes that is how I felt, blooming. As I walk down the cobbled streets everyone’s head turned. The crowd split as I walked. It was as if I was the only star on a moonless night. I entered the tavern I had seen the crew enter the previous evenings. The tavern silenced as I walked through the door, I swear I heard goblets drop.

Mogar was the first to speak. “How may I be of service m’ lady” he said as he approached. I do not think I could every get tired of being addressed as “m’ lady”. I replied “I was looking for the Captain of the grand ship Avion, master dwarf”. All the crew busted out in laughter and the rest of the tavern soon followed. Led by Mogar, I approached the table were most of crew were. An array of complements followed one after the other.

What a grand occasion. I tried my first ale this evening but soon found that I had drunk several. I was feeling bold, music filled the air and before I knew it I was dancing freely on the table. Everyone was having a grand time that is until the Captain entered. His eyes lock onto mine. Nervously I climbed down and slowly approached him. I was not as graceful as I had hoped. I slurred a mixture of elfish and common “Thank you mmyyy Capt’nnn you like?” I turned to show him the dress he bought me and fell dirtying the dress on tavern’s stained floor. I looked up and he looked down. The words he spoke will forever be ingrained into my very essence, “Look at you, you’re a disgrace, you reek of ale, and you ruined your dress!” With that he turned around and walked off. I just stayed there, on the floor, curled up, and wept.

I do not remember the remainder of the evening. When I awoke I was in my bed onboard the ship, my head was throbbing in pain. I looked up to see Mogar looking down at me. He handed a mixture of something awful smelling saying “hair of the dog lass, drink up”. I did not want to eat or drink dog but I was in no condition to argue. He continued on about how we had been at sea for a few days and that he has been keeping an eye on me. As he turned to leave I noticed his shirt was torn. I asked what happened he responded that he “had a disagreement with the Captain” and walked off.

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Journal (in elfish):
I have remained below now for several days afraid to face the Caption. I spent my time mending, rope, sails, anything I could. When I was not mending I tried and tried to clean the dress. While I’ve removed all the stains and smell of ale, I could never seem to remove stench of disgrace.

The men took turns bring me down food, drink and everything they could for me to work on, to help justify my presence bellow.

One evening Mogar came down with supper and noticing I was still trying to clean my dress made a comment that I was going to clean a hole in it. I smiled and began to laugh. It was the first time since my fall from grace. I thanked him and noticed he was still wearing the torn shirt. I pleaded for him to take it off so I could mend it. Reluctantly he agreed say it was not prober for a dwarf. As he handed me the shirt I looked at him with wide eyes. “What ‘er look’n at lass?” “You look fantastic I do not know why you think it’s not proper.” He turned three shades of red and left.

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Journal (in elfish):
I finished with his shirt some time ago. I even added a swatch I removed from my dress, stitching it into his collar. But all the others came down save for him. I think I might have embarrassed him.

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Journal (in elfish):
Still no Mogar. So today I braved going up top. I was scared as I approached the doors. Hesitantly I opened them and walk through. The sunshine felt good against the skin. For a moment I almost forgot what had happened but then I heard his voice. Stepping further out we could see each other, our eyes met, a simple nod was all he gave before returning to his duties.

All the turmoil, the agony, and “a simple nod”. Did he know? How could he not? Was that it, water under the bridge? I thought about engaging him but decided to just enjoy the sunshine.

Walking forward I could see Mogar, shirtless in the sun. I approached and handed him the shirt. Snatching it from my hands he uttered something about “it’s about time, its unnatural to be in the sun without proper attire”. Though after putting it on, he pulled on the collar and noticed the little extra. He brought to his face, close his eyes and inhaled. When finished, with a soft smile he thanked me.

I know some of the other crew caught this and even the Captain as well, but I do not care.

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Journal (in elfish):
I have spoken very little with the Caption since we left the Nelanther; primarily performing my duties as required. When we arrived at Candle Keep and still no sign of Alex, the Captain suggested we move along the cost. I agreed having nothing more to lose.

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Journal (in elfish):
Many moons have past and I lost count of the ports. Up and down the cost we sailed, from pirates to ports we would go. I feel the hope of finding Alex grows dimmer as each day passes.

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Journal (in elfish):
I am sad to write that so many of my memories have become unpleasant ones. Since the day I witnessing death first hand, many of my experiences have been ones that I wish I could undue, none more so than that of today. Today was the day I experienced death at my own hand.

As like so many other days we had a run-in with pirates. The familiar knock came noting the threat had been dealt with. So I picked up my mending gear and headed up top. I had just stepped out when I heard “Look Out!”. I turned around and an unfamiliar man came lunging towards me with bare hands. I dropped all but my knife and proceeded to trust it into him. I held him close, impaled on the blade, and stared into his eyes, watching his life force drain from his body.

Soon the others arrived, pulled him of and tossed him overboard. All were questioning if I was ok, I simply replied yes and when on with my duties. It was not the death that wish to undue as it should be, but the memory. I felt nothing! No remorse, no regret, not even relief that I was safe. I simply felt nothing.

Is this what it feels like having no spirit? Am I to end up in the wall of the faithless? Alex if I do not find you soon I will simply fade into nothingness.

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Journal (in elfish):
I feel it has been many seasons since first setting out. Many ways have I grown and many ways I have died. I do not know what is to happen to me for I cannot go on like this much longer.

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Journal (in elfish):
I do not know now what is happening to me for I have been experiencing loss of time. At first I had not noticed but recently there was a significant amount of time. We were heading into the port of Neverwinter. I remember we were a day or two out and when I awoke we were in Port Liast. I asked the Captain why we did not stop at Neverwinter and his response was quite odd. “What do you mean why we did not stop? You were the first to … Change in plans we are in Port Liast, if you want to go ashore be brief we will heading back out in the morning.”

This alone was odd enough, but he did not even mention looking for Alex! He never forgets to look for her fist thing. I decided to stay on board to see if I could put this together. After the Captain left the ship I looked around. I could not see any evidence that supported we stopped in Neverwinter, until I spoke with Mogar.

I wandered into the galley to find him rummaging thought the stocks when he looked up and said “So lass, decided to stay aboard did ye? I can’t blame ya after Neverwinter ...” We went on to talk some more before I told him that I had no memory of Neverwinter. At that point he abruptly ended the conversation. I tried to push it further but he said that he had nothing more to add to the conversation.

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Journal (in elfish):
Today I was feeling much better. Silly but swinging thought the rigging seams to take my mind off of things. As I was doing so I noticed Mogar walking out of the Captains quarters with his head hung low. I went to wave when he looked up but saw the look of sadness on his face as he headed back down below.

As I made my way down the Captain called me in. He went on to state that I should avoid Mogar for he would not be with us much longer. I started to protest when I was cut off with an abrupt “That’s an Order!”

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Journal (in elfish):
I have been feeling more uncomfortable in my own skin these days and even less on the ship, and without Mogar to speak with, I was lonely as well.

We were heading south to Leilon I believe, when I decided to try to get to closer to the other members of the crew. I started to stay up later and partake in the festivities that usually occurred after I when below. They were filled with song and dance and drink. I refrained from the drink the best I could, always excusing myself when it was being pushed.

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Journal (in elfish):
Note to myself the loss of time I had been experiencing has diminished as of lately. I do not know what it is, but as it ceases I feel fuller of life and spirit. I must seek and oracle to understand this better.

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Journal (in elfish):
Today I awoke by the Captain barging in. He simply looked at me with disgust and said “Spoiled Fruit” then left in haste. I did not know what he meant exactly, so I stated to get up. My head ached liked that morning after my first disgrace in the Captains eyes, but soon was overrun by a deep pain below. Looking down I noted traces of blood and tried to getup but pain made me drop to my knees. After some time and much difficulty I managed to clean myself up and make my way up top.

What I saw left me speechless. Four of the crew was hanging by the yardarm for all to see. No one said a word just carried on with heads low. That is, save for the Captain. We bellowed out the orders “Turnabout we head for Luskan territories”. The crew just did as they were told. While in no condition to confront the Caption I still made my way back to him that is until one of the crew stepped in and put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a look like that would be the worst thing I could do. Taking his lead I turned around and made my way below to rest and gain my strength.

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Journal (in elfish):
I awoke this morning to the kind face of Mogar. He was standing next to me with a smile and warm drink. “Drink this lass quickly before the Capt’n knows I’m here.” I did as he instructed and without another word he left. Moments after he left, I immediately felt restored and life coming back to me. I remained below the rest of the day catching up on the mending work I had put aside earlier.

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Journal (in elfish):
Once again I awoke to the kind face of Mogar, and once again he handing me a drink then left. Just like the previous day, the drink revitalized me. Feeling better I headed back on deck.

The bodies were still hanging there for all to see. Noticing me up on deck the Captain ordered my to cut them down, so I climbed the rigging and crawled out to cut them free. Upon reaching their bodies the smell took me by surprise first, then their faces. I knew them, I knew everyone but these were the ones I was out with the night before.

As I cut them down one by one their bodies just crushed into the deck. What an awful site. I wonder if that would have been me up here had I not gone to bed when I did that night. By the time I made my way back down their bodies were simply pushed over the edge and into the waters below.

As I made my way back I overheard the Captain grumbling about them taking something that was his. I will never make that mistake that’s for sure.