Im Insane!

[Azulfae]

Shrink 1: "Well, take this paper and draw a person on a rainy day, then put him a name and age and write a brief history of that image"

Me: [I draw a guy called Dave, in his car reading a newspaper. Dave is 29 and has issues about life slipping away with 30 looming, the age many still wish they were. The rain is hard and dominates the picture. His missus is trying to open the door to the car but Dave has locked the doors and continues to read his paper. She was a bitch to him and got out the car to walk home only 2 minutes before, when the sun was shining. She brought this upon herself.]

Shrink 1: *serious looking* "If you must choose something to be, without being a human, what do you choose and why?"

Me: "Bacteria"

Shrink 1: *serious looking* "If you must choose something to be, without being a human or animal, what do you choose and why?"

Me: "I will choose a D&D Tanaruk, because they are orcs with demon blood."

Shrink 1: *omgpsycoalert face* "And why did you chosen a non existent figure, you want to be non-existent? How Tanaruk are to the strangers? They think the strangers are like food? They live with orcs dominating them and killing anything that look at them the wrong way?"

Me: [Blows a plume of steam from my nose and draws a small axe from under the table.] "Whut youz want me for say? I be a ponsey elf and live in stupid forest petting bunnies and have sex only in 100 years!"

Shrink 1: "Well, that's up to you, now tell me. If you must be an animal, what animal you DON'T WANT TO BE and why?"

Me: "Kitten!"

Shrink 1: Well, if you must be an object, what you DON'T WANT TO BE and why?"

Me: "Youz face, cos in moment is gonna get SMASH!!!"

Shrink 1: "What other thing you don't want to be?"

Me: "Youz ass, cos after is smash face I gonna..."

Shrink 1: "SECURITY!!!"

Me: [throws the table out the way and grabs the shrink swinging him like a rag doll. As security enter I plant my axe in the throat of one of them and boot the other one in the groin. I then throw the shrink out the door and wait.]

Shrink 1: *leaves and comes back in 5 minutes* Well I am happy to fully endorse your license. See you again in 3 years Mr. Wilson.

Me: "Okayz *left the office* Where dat pig goed?!"

[Thief Of Navarre]

Cute Azulfae, shame some of actually get denied on our shotgun/car/adoption license because of crazy acts of sanity like that!

This world sucks, cant I choose a new one?!

[Machiavelli]

There's a psych test for licence renewal here is Australia as well! They make you stand in line for four hours to speak to three different people. All the while there are weird little glowing signs with numbers, and blown speakers whispering indecipherable bureaucratic messages from all around. Anyone who doesn't think they're Napoleon by the end of that is probably pretty stable.

[Redjack]

I am glad I'm not driving on the same road as you crazy people.

[Thief Of Navarre]

Heh!

[Azulfae]

The problem with the driving test in the UK is that it's way to hard now. Everybody has to be perfect to pass to the point that the pressure means everyone that takes the test is in that high strung highly attentive focused state when they take the test. They are driving the way they have to to pass and all behaving perfectly for the instructor.

Then they pass and get in their own car, all the anal detail goes out the window and the real person, the one who would have failed the test is the one now driving the car.

In the old days it was easier to pass, you had to be a realistically competant driver to pass and more or less you could be you on the test. The instructor would chat to you, watch you drive around and think, "yep this person is a normal and decent individual and they drive ok, pass!" or they might go, "what a cock, no! your never getting behind the wheel in my town."

It's like the same way a person can fulfil all the criteria of being a perfect parent to adopt kids and yet be a peodophile. At the same time someone who is genuinely a decent person and would bring a kid up in a loving home can't adopt because they have a medical condition or something crappy that might one day deteriorate and mean the child will loose their parent and it will distress them... like we all don't at some point? Not to mention the fact that your not a kid forever.

[Firechicken]

Well im not crazy and some of these are funny but I have rolled down a hill in a jeep becasue my friend said I wouldn't...Bleh I did now i got to fix some things..

[Lanemeyer]

Well im not crazy and some of these are funny but I have rolled down a hill in a jeep becasue my friend said I wouldn't...Bleh I did now i got to fix some things..

I am just trying to understand why I am not surprised, lol

[Azulfae]

Firechicken is the Jock who is a closet D&D nerd.

Meathead vs nerdbrains all rolled into one uncontrollable and dangerous human cooking pot.

[Product of Void]

So firechicken has to split personalities both seeking control eh?

I know a buddy who rolled his truck it was shortly after someone asked the question you ask AFTER you are in the off road park " Ever rolled it before?"

The guy who got me started in DnD first played magic the gathering with me and a buddy. He was also a jock who Dm'd and was a power builder. I still remeber my first night of PnP. I went from CG to CE in less then ten minutes.

Still yet to figure out what was so wrong in robbing a burning building instead of trying to put out the fire... *shrug*

[Firechicken]

Firechicken is the Jock who is a closet D&D nerd.

Meathead vs nerdbrains all rolled into one uncontrollable and dangerous human cooking pot.

Yup that sounds about rite..

[Thief Of Navarre]

The problem with the driving test in the UK is that it's way to hard now. Everybody has to be perfect to pass to the point that the pressure means everyone that takes the test is in that high strung highly attentive focused state when they take the test. They are driving the way they have to to pass and all behaving perfectly for the instructor.

Then they pass and get in their own car, all the anal detail goes out the window and the real person, the one who would have failed the test is the one now driving the car.

In the old days it was easier to pass, you had to be a realistically competant driver to pass and more or less you could be you on the test. The instructor would chat to you, watch you drive around and think, "yep this person is a normal and decent individual and they drive ok, pass!" or they might go, "what a cock, no! your never getting behind the wheel in my town."

It's like the same way a person can fulfil all the criteria of being a perfect parent to adopt kids and yet be a peodophile. At the same time someone who is genuinely a decent person and would bring a kid up in a loving home can't adopt because they have a medical condition or something crappy that might one day deteriorate and mean the child will loose their parent and it will distress them... like we all don't at some point? Not to mention the fact that your not a kid forever.

This is EXACTLY how it is here, its really sad. Sometimes Im ashamed of being english

[Allielliot]

wow...it's a joke to get a license in the U.S....I took my test maybe the third time that i had ever driven a car. We almost died more than once. I did terrible, but they gave me a license and sent me on my way.... I'm sorry it's so difficult for you guys. Be glad that you're not driving here at least. There are people driving cars here that may not be able to speak much less read the road signs.