From the Journal of Cazen

[Jai_V]

When I came into possession of my mother's journal, I had the idea that I would start keeping one, myself. However, I made the decision to await a time when I would have something cheerful to write about. I realize now that if I do that, I'll be caring around this blank journal for a long time. And since I can't bring myself to discard the idea, altogether, I figured it was time to get to work.

So where do I begin?

[Jai_V]

The bonds of past tragedies...

Well, a few days ago, while searching the Sundren Library for some ancient tombs to raid, the Librarian, Seer Marcus, recalled the tale of an Druidic Hin named Pom Wador, who had found some strange ruins in the Mossdale Forest. Finding more information on Pom was easier then I expected, as Lauan knew him well. She even recalled the ruins, though not the location.

While I'm on the subject of Lauan, she's the proverbial forbidden fruit in my life. Yeah, I would be fortunate enough to fall for a Thayan Knight, wouldn't I? I mean, it's not like I can have her hand in marriage, because she's already bonded (or perhaps a better word would be owned) by the Red Wizard, Pyras Demathos. I would explain what I thought of him, but he's a Red Wizard of Thay...need I really elaborate?

Anyway, Lauan couldn't cypher the location. She did, however, inform me that Logan knew of the location. And thus began the search for the infamous Logan the Foul. I don't really know what to think of him. His name is completely appropriate, but at the same time, he's got some strange, back wards charisma about him that makes him not just tolerable, but amusing. Of course, he'll probably end up killing me off, some day.

Logan agreed to go along for this little expedition. So far, that makes me, Lauan, Logan, Daelus, and possibly Claudius.

Daelus and Claudius are two of my best friends. Daelus is this Ranger that I often find myself feeling much pity for. He seems to be locked in his own head more then I am and when he's not brooding quietly beneath a tree, he's running his mouth, getting himself in trouble. Of course, I can relate: I have that same problem. It's probably why we get along so well. Claudius is pretty much the same way. He seems like he's emotionally stunted, haunted by his past, and pretty much a mouthy smart-ass.

Of course, this expeditions been put on hold, pending locating Daelus and gathering all the necessary assets. I mean, I don't even want to think about what the Mossdale's going to be like without a decent Woodsman that I trust.

The next day, or so, I was finally forced to admit to Mirumoto Akagi how I knew so much about Kara-Tur. As it turns out, Ami's Clan is responsible for Mirumoto's brother's death. As a result, he's sworn to kill any Scorpion Clan he meets with. But he offered to spare Ami on my behalf, because of what I did to her. [Refer to Post #7 in this collection.] I don't know if I should ask that of him. I mean, she wants to kill me...last time I saw her, she tried to kill me. [Also found in above referenced collection.]

I hope she stays in Neverwinter, or goes back to Kara-Tur. Of course, if she went home, they'd probably kill her for dishonoring her family by failing to protect Zorza. I don't know. Ether way, I found Asliena not long after, hanging around the Exigo camp-fire, spaced out on whatever her poison of the week is. It hurts me to even look at Asliena, now. I introduced her to the world of drugs and she's been a permanent resident, ever since. Someday, I'm going to cypher how to help her...I just hope she lasts that long.

[Jai_V]

Fortune's fool, and the fool that follows...

Asliena, myself, and Mirumoto were harassing the Cartel. We fought our way up the Mountain and into their hide-out, but a well-placed spell from one of their magi left Mirumoto near death. I carried him out of there with Asliena and almost half-way down the mountain when the legion of Cartel thugs just became overwhelming. Asliena and I thought we were going to die until Sol Sunderkin and her Master appeared from out've nowhere and began laying the Cartel to waste.

I managed to get Mirumoto down the mountain and safely to a healer. He was on the verge of death, but they managed to coax his soul back from wherever it was headed. The idea of losing such a good friend was beyond terrifying to me. Thankfully, he pulled through just fine, with nothing seriously damaged other then his pride. So then, I escorted him to his Mistress, the aforementioned Sol. She ordered him to be my comrade. I don't know how I feel about that.

I mean, it's not any different then what Mirumoto and I have been doing, all along. I just can't fathom why Sol would do something like this to him. I'll be damned, double-damned, and possibly even thrice-damned if I'm going to have any dishonor fall on Mirumoto because of my whims. Undeniably, I have the good of the people at heart, but sometimes my methods are...a little more shades of gray then the black and white of the Samurai.

Afterwords, Mirumoto left to take his repose and Sol, in her own way, opened up to me. Sol's always seemed to be something of a cold bitch, which was just fine with me, I'm content to let people be who they are. Then she showed me she had a softer side. And what did I do? I insulted her. I told her I didn't want to hear it.

Yeah...I'm a real hero. Picking on Hin women.

Of course, I have to confess a slight discriminatory attitude toward Hin women. After what happened with that Kaylee...

Just so I can finally get the whole story off my chest, Ami and I snuck away from the Inn we were staying in while Zorza slept so we could do those things kids our age (and not to mention Cirion) naturally have the urge to do with reckless abandon. It was our first time...both of us. We snuck down by the river when a Goblin showed up and started making really nasty comments, taking up suggestive poses and posturing, doing some pelvic thrusts in the air and just genuinely being a nuisance.

This caused Ami to be totally uninspired and she left. Out of frustration, I killed that damned Goblin, quietly. Then I realized it was someone's laborer and knew that if they found it, I'd be in deep shit. So I prepped the body like Zorza showed me and discarded it in the river. And there I spied a beautiful girl near my own age bathing, naked. She motioned me over and, like a dog in heat, there I went, seduced by the prospect of enjoying the deed I had meant to do with Ami.

And do the deed, I did. Of course, I'd scarcely got my clothes back on when I turned to look for the girl. And she was gone. Just like that. Thinking nothing of it, I returned to the Inn for the night.

When I first arrived in Sundren, I met a strange Hin named Kaylee Undrepook, who looked very familiar for some reason. I found out why when she used an enlarging spell on herself. She was the girl at the river that night. Ever since then, I've been a bit...awkward around female Hins. Usually, I end up either hating them (such is the case with Rena) or being annoyed by them (like Merem and her sister, Perem).

I've made this entry long enough. I think I'll go pick a pocket, now, or do something else thief-like.

[Jai_V]

Racism at it's finest...

It's very rarely that I agree with Nocte about anything. We manage to get along, somehow, despite the fact that we share almost none of the same opinions. But one thing he's mentioned that I've noticed is making me so angry, I can't formulate my thoughts correctly. Every supposedly "good" and "decent" person in this God's forsaken Valley is treating him like shit, despite the fact that he one hundred percent for certain went to Hell (literally) saving all their asses.

Because of the misdeeds of the Banites, there was a planular weakening around the popular Exigo camp fire. For months, Nocte and several others sought workings to restrengthen and shore-up that weakness, thus preventing any further random extraplanular beings from just popping up and causing trouble for the rest of us. Not mention the implications of a what other trouble that weakening could of cause.

Like it or not, like him or not, Nocte is a hero. He helped out the Valley at great personal sacrifice, and he deserves respect.

[Jai_V]

Neverwinter: To there and back...again.

I really let myself go, this time...

After Tayien's death and all the following subsequent disappointments, I felt I needed to get away from Sundren for a while. So I became a bit proactive with some of my more larcenous practices, hunted down a few errant beast-bloods as a good deed, and shored up my larders before buying passage back to Neverwinter.

I wish I could tell you that I spent that time trying to amend my relationship with Ami. (I did visit her, but it seems after our last encounter, she's left Neverwinter) I wish I could say I paid Axle a visit and asked "Hey, how're things?" But the last thing I wanted to do was get entangled in some of the Guild's business.

No...I did nothing productive.

I simply rented a cheap room and, aside from regularly visiting the Moonstone Mask to play party to the endless supply of melodrama that Ophala Cheldarstorn allows (not to mention the beautiful dancers), I did very little, except try to lose myself. Oh, there were necessities. I mean, I only brought so much gold with me and I needed more.

I hit the streets, doing my best to fly under the radar and be enough of an insignificant presence, that none of the current water-carriers would care to notice me. I ran small-time, short-term, loose-change hussles...things that would get you killed if you intended to stay in one place for too long. (And I didn't.)

Finally, after I grew so fed up with my own self-loathing and couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror, anymore, I packed what little I cared to carry and boarded a ship back to Sundren. Good ol' Darge greeted me when I returned and the first people I encountered were Annie, Lauan, and Daelus.

Of course, I can't be around Annie for more then two minutes without Osclow showing up. It seems like when it's just her and I talking, she begins to lighten up. But the second that ego-maniacal musician shows up, she turns into some kind of prima-donna princess and his hero complex kicks in, seriously ruining my cool.

Ah well...not like I'm into the woodsy type, anyway. Give me a cobble-stone jungle girl, any day. Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've encountered any city-born ladies. Even the dancers at the Moonstone Mask all hailed from some exotic locale, hearkening to their particular styles of gyration.

Despite the fact that I had left Sundren for quite some time, apparently nothing significant happened while I was away. The big talk of the camp-fire was still Cybil's children and the atrocities of that perverted Necromancer. It's almost as if nothing ever really changes, around here. Perhaps I'm in the wrong place...

For now, I'm content to play my part and see where things go from here.

[Jai_V]

Here I am, once again.

So, I finally got sick of this life.

It was not long after I discovered Tayien had actually survived the excursion to Kurz Vilebelch's lair that suddenly, the Sundren I knew (and loved) seemed to be fading away, like a desert mirage...or a Gnomish wonder-work.

Generally dissatisfied, I tried something I'd never thought of before: living the straight life. I got a couple of fair-wage jobs at a couple local taverns, and did odd-jobs for the owners, from time to time. Then I rented what was meant to be a loft but wasn't much more then an attic.

For the first time in years, I worked to maintain a serious low profile. Appearently, I did a bang-up job...nobody even noticed I was right there in Sundren City the whole time. For a while, I was quite content with my new lease on life...

And then, I had a dream.

I don't want to recount it. It was so terrible, it shook me to my very foundation. So once again, I donned the armor, cloak, and cowl, bound and determined to rejoin my peers. And that's exactly what I've done.

I don't know if this was such a good idea, but I suppose I'll find out, soon enough.