A Selfless Separation

[Kaeldorn]

They trod towards her room... their room in the Sundren Comfort. They had had some good moments together in the past few days, growing ever closer once again after that fateful night, when their differences had finally played up and they were torn apart against the will of both. Yashia was joined by Sehron, for she had finally told him that she was ready to tell him what was going on inside of her mind and her heart, what feelings were keeping her from picking up where they had left off.

The human ranger and the elven rogue whom she loved, who loved her equally in return, approached the door. The atmosphere was much unlike the last time they had entered here side by side. The warmth of home now did not provide the comfort it once did, but it was engulfed in a mood of sadness. A sadness strengthened by the musical accords that could now already be heard, coming from the lute played by a most caring and understanding bard she had befriended. Osclow had done exactly as Yashia had asked him to, and she was grateful.

Yashia slowly turned the key, and then pushed the door with little force, causing it to swing open just far enough without ever reaching it's turning point. The moon elf followed her inside and closed it behind them with the same degree of care. For a moment he was distracted by the musician standing at the far end of the room, by the desk where his companion had secretly spent several days preparing herself for this confrontation with him. Sehron's attention shifted towards her once more when he felt the touch of a caring hand he knew all too well, gently pulling him over to the couch in front of the fireplace.

The blonde human woman gracefully motioned for him to sit down. "Have a seat..." she spoke softly. He did so right away, and looked upwards to meet her gaze.

"This is very, very hard for me to do Sehron," she continued. "But I must express myself to you. I have to let you know... because I care for you, and I wish you nothing but the best."

Sehron nodded, a little smile forming upon his face. He was touched, but didn't realize what was to come. Yashia looked down to her feet and closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath while trying to gather the courage she needed for what she was about to do. She had started this, set it in motion. And once she would bring her unspoken words to hearing, there would be no way back. But if she truly loved him, she had to go through with it. She could not leave his dreams to slowly eat at him and destroy him from within. It was rather sooner than later. If ever there was a right time to do this, now it had to be done. And thus, she signalled for Osclow to begin.

The bard did as commanded, played his notes even more beautifully than he had already done in providing his demonstration less than an hour ago. Yashia regained her composure - or so it seemed at least - looking straight into the eyes of her beloved. The music was pure, emotional and modest, to forever remain inferior to her voice. And she sang the first song ever that she had written, especially for Sehron and for this one moment alone. It was soft and tender in the verse, but full of conviction and just powerful enough in the chorus, where it was fitting. Her affection showed through and through...

[Kaeldorn]

Do you still recall the way we used to be?
From such great distance drawn together you and me.
There were no boundaries we couldn’t cross,
You made a victory from every loss.
Whenever I was sad then you would make me smile.

We formed a union even if we’d disagree,
To tread our path, your hand in mine, that was our destiny.
You’d give your heart to me, and I to you.
Returned the tenderness that I once knew.
You made my every moment so much worth my while.


I thought we’d last a lifetime,
I thought we’d face it all.
Our love seemed unconditional.
Unknowing what would befall.

I didn’t see what you were going through.
Did never realize you had it rough.
I gave you all of which I’m capable,
Blinded in thinking it would be enough.
I never wished you pain, to be the cause,
To make you suffer all these harms.
And if in mine it is impossible,
Then I hope you’ll find your love in another’s arms.


I was torn apart when you came back that night.
You do still care for me, I know, but this does not feel right.
All for myself I just cannot proceed.
I can’t commit to you the way you need.
To see you giving up your life would hurt me so.

No matter what, I’ll always be your friend.
Going on like this would leave you-more scars that will not mend.
Telling this makes me shiver to the bone.
I really do not want to be alone.
But if I prevent your happiness, then I will let you go.


I thought we’d last a lifetime,
I thought we’d face it all.
Our love seemed unconditional.
Unknowing what would befall.

I didn’t see what you were going through.
Did never realize you had it rough.
I gave you all of which I’m capable,
Blinded in thinking it would be enough.
I never wished you pain, to be the cause,
To make you suffer all these harms.
And if in mine it is impossible,
Then I hope you’ll find true love…
…in another’s arms.

[Kaeldorn]

As Osclow almost timidly played the snares of his newly bought lute to finalize the song, Yashia was trembling and drawing deep breath to replenish the air in her lungs. She was no experienced performer, but it did not matter. Because all who were present in the room, even if they were but two, knew full well that her words were more than meaningful.

"That was... beautiful." Sehron spoke a little nervously, trying to avoid speaking of what was probably inevitable. He could read the regret from Yashia's face, yet there was also relief. He could only hope that the former would have the upper hand.

He turned towards the lute player for a moment, who had both fallen silent and remained motionless where he was standing. "I thank you for your wonderful addition, Osclow. But could you please leave us to have some privacy?"

With a nod, the humble bard quietly took his leave from the scene. His work here was done, though he was unsure to be glad about it or not, he had done his duty in trying to persuade Yashia not to make a possible mistake. And for a friend, playing his part as requested was the least he could do.

When the door was shut behind him, the fallen paladin tilted her head upwards to speak with Sehron again. "I... I'm sorry, Sehron. I just can't go on like this. Not at the cost of your happiness."

His eyes widened, almost in panic. "But you make me happy..."

"This is but momentary happiness." she spoke grimly, shaking her head. "In the end, your unanswered desires could tear you apart."

"I love you, Yashia!" said the moon elven rogue in protest. "And I want to spend every season to come with you, for as long as we can be together."

Yashia sighed, her eyes becoming watery. "I could want nothing more. But can you really live like this? Can you have and hold what I can offer you, and wish for nothing more?"

A silence fell between the two. Only the sound of the crackling fire to be heard. Sehron hesitated, arguing with himself inside his head. Could he do this? Or would he let her - possibly the best thing that ever happened to him in his life - slip from his fingers?

No... it was enough. He had caused her pain enough with his doubts. Yashia deserved better than him. A rogue. A scoundrel without the will to devote himself to her. He had to say it. Although he couldn't put it in those words, because then she would only try to convince him that things were not as he perceived them. Again.

"I... I love you, Yashia. But... I just can't be what you want me to be. I can't put those thoughts out of my mind."

She had already seen this coming, although that did not make Yashia any more prepared. Shivering, she weakly laid her right hand on his shoulder and softly stroked his upper arm from top to bottom. "And I love you too much to have you just throw all of it away, spending your life with me based on unfulfilled wishes and false hopes, Sehron." she said softly in a bittersweet tone.

"I don't want to be alone!" he uttered helplessly.

At that, his love threw her other arm around him and held him close, laying her cheek against his. "You won't ever have to be alone. I will always be there for you in whatever way you need me to be."

After a few seconds in eachother's arms, Sehron released himself somewhat from her grip to face her directly. To lean in and kiss her, not entirely sure if Yashia would want this. She did, and she returned it full of passion, almost like a couple that had just married. But this was no beginning like in a fairy tale. The tears that rolled down their faces revealed that it was a kiss goodbye. Both of them knew it, neither of them wished it to be, but simply felt that they had to for the sake of the other. A selfless separation.

They still stood there for a while in each-other's arms, just looking at one another after their kiss had ended. Again, Sehron was the first to speak. "I... I want to stay with you here tonight. If that is alright with you?"

She looked upon him with a half-hearted smile that was mostly submissive to the agony of loss that she felt. "Yes, please... I want to be close to you."

Never releasing their embrace, they lay down in bed face to face. In her exhaustion, sleep beckoned Yashia, but she struggled against it with all she had. This moment with him she had to feel as long as she could. It was not the only love she had known, but it would be the last. Her heart would be Sehron's for all eternity. Sadly, their time together appeared not to be meant to last that long. Her eyes closed again and again, but they opened up every single time to get every glimpse of him that she possibly could. Until her weariness got the better of her, and the world before her eyes turned to darkness.