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* A copy of the Sundren City Chronicle can be found in every tavern and store throughout the city. Numerous articles can be found within the publication, some gaining more attention than others. *
Sundren City Chronicle
"Sure, they might be lies, but they're our lies!"
"Sure, they might be lies, but they're our lies!"
TRIUMVIRATE CONFIRMS ARTIFACT, DENIES 'DOOMSDAY DEVICE'
By Stewy "What's Libel?" Desowits
Just yesterday, Triumvirate representative Balthasar held a public press conference to disclose the existence of a mysterious artifact in an effort to pacify the growing public fear and outrage over the research of such an item.
When pressed on whether or not the item was a doomsday device, Balthasar adamantly denied the item was going to be responsible for our utter annihilation. One wonders how we'll be able to hold him accountable after he's proven wrong.
In related news, a confirmed source reports that the Nation of Thay, represented by the Thayan Embassy in Aquor, has made a bid of twenty million stags for the item. Balthasar, expectedly, turned down the lucrative offer, stating, "...the Triumvirate is not, and will not be, interested in selling it. Thank you for your interest, but we will not entertain any offers." An observant member of the crowd noted that such a sum could better all our lives, and the resulting question is: why do the Triumvirate wish to keep us down?
Lady Tao, of the Thayan Embassy, commented, "Our offer was more than generous, and we were willing to assume the risk of investigating such a volatile item. The Triumvirate, unfortunately, do not understand the research of this artifact is beyond them; nor do they see how much good would come from a payment of this magnitude. Instead, they will fail to figure out the device, perhaps causing harm to some or all, or eventually grow bored and store it amongst a million other boxed artifacts to be lost with time. Either way, you, as people of Sundren, suffer." Interestingly, the lady seemed to have answers to all of our questions before they were even answered.
Several Hands of Mundus magi were invited to answer questions about the device, but were reportedly too busy fighting amongst themselves to attend.
By Stewy "What's Libel?" Desowits
Just yesterday, Triumvirate representative Balthasar held a public press conference to disclose the existence of a mysterious artifact in an effort to pacify the growing public fear and outrage over the research of such an item.
When pressed on whether or not the item was a doomsday device, Balthasar adamantly denied the item was going to be responsible for our utter annihilation. One wonders how we'll be able to hold him accountable after he's proven wrong.
In related news, a confirmed source reports that the Nation of Thay, represented by the Thayan Embassy in Aquor, has made a bid of twenty million stags for the item. Balthasar, expectedly, turned down the lucrative offer, stating, "...the Triumvirate is not, and will not be, interested in selling it. Thank you for your interest, but we will not entertain any offers." An observant member of the crowd noted that such a sum could better all our lives, and the resulting question is: why do the Triumvirate wish to keep us down?
Lady Tao, of the Thayan Embassy, commented, "Our offer was more than generous, and we were willing to assume the risk of investigating such a volatile item. The Triumvirate, unfortunately, do not understand the research of this artifact is beyond them; nor do they see how much good would come from a payment of this magnitude. Instead, they will fail to figure out the device, perhaps causing harm to some or all, or eventually grow bored and store it amongst a million other boxed artifacts to be lost with time. Either way, you, as people of Sundren, suffer." Interestingly, the lady seemed to have answers to all of our questions before they were even answered.
Several Hands of Mundus magi were invited to answer questions about the device, but were reportedly too busy fighting amongst themselves to attend.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
By Skeevy Nickles
Sundren City authorities confirmed this week that several sewage pipes beneath the Entertainment District have broken, and are causing waste to spew into various parts of the area and underground. Residents are cautioned to avoid the area, as disease may be spread.
Several firms have been contracted to repair and reinforce the pipes, and will be working night and day until the work is completed.
By Skeevy Nickles
Sundren City authorities confirmed this week that several sewage pipes beneath the Entertainment District have broken, and are causing waste to spew into various parts of the area and underground. Residents are cautioned to avoid the area, as disease may be spread.
Several firms have been contracted to repair and reinforce the pipes, and will be working night and day until the work is completed.
TO DIE FOR: CHOO'S SHOES
By Spence Spectacular
Hey! Hey Hey! This is Spence Spectacular reporting from Chimmy Choo's famous boot boutique in Aquor, site of freaky, fancy, and fabulous footwear.
If you have 400 stags to spend on a pair of shoes -- and let's admit it, who doesn't! -- then make your way down and grab some galoshes. Sure, heels might hurt like hell, but looking good is worth it. Mmhmm? Hmmhmm!
And lastly, before I'm off to parade in pink, I just want to give out shout out to Lauan. You work that red. Work it! It's about time you found your feminine side, girl.
By Spence Spectacular
Hey! Hey Hey! This is Spence Spectacular reporting from Chimmy Choo's famous boot boutique in Aquor, site of freaky, fancy, and fabulous footwear.
If you have 400 stags to spend on a pair of shoes -- and let's admit it, who doesn't! -- then make your way down and grab some galoshes. Sure, heels might hurt like hell, but looking good is worth it. Mmhmm? Hmmhmm!
And lastly, before I'm off to parade in pink, I just want to give out shout out to Lauan. You work that red. Work it! It's about time you found your feminine side, girl.
NOW HIRING!
By Dlob Scilati, Editor in Chief
Interested in woo-ing members of the opposite sex?
Interested in a high paying career with limitless growth potential?
Interested in doing something that matters, and makes a difference?
Well, if not, the Sundren City Chronicle has a job for you! No experience necessary! Slight manipulations of the truth in order to improve readability and distribution numbers completely acceptable! Interested writers should leave their application with the Sundren City Library.
APPLY TODAY!
By Dlob Scilati, Editor in Chief
Interested in woo-ing members of the opposite sex?
Interested in a high paying career with limitless growth potential?
Interested in doing something that matters, and makes a difference?
Well, if not, the Sundren City Chronicle has a job for you! No experience necessary! Slight manipulations of the truth in order to improve readability and distribution numbers completely acceptable! Interested writers should leave their application with the Sundren City Library.
APPLY TODAY!
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