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DM =/= Dungeon Master, DM = Deathmage.
I plan to use this thread to put in stories about my various chararacters. I probably have no patience to write dairy entries, but I do enjoy short stories. Here is a character who's in the pipeline. His name is Rambunctious "Ramble" Oldcastle (last name disputed), and he speaks with an outrageous John Cleese accent. If you don't know who he is, go youtube him up...
When you meet the man himself in game, please respect keeping IC and OOC knowledge seperate, and don't be afraid to let yourself be swindled by the old boy
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“I’ll admit,” said Rambunctious, twirling his magnificent moustache. “That it didn’t go quite according to plan.”
“You can say that again, you thrice-cursed bastard gnome!” yelled Carlos, slamming one of his massive hairy palms down onto the bar table. As he noticed the look of his patrons, he coughed awkwardly and lowered his voice to a throaty whisper -
“Now how do you plan on repaying your tab?”
“Well now, old friend, see, the thing is, my plan would have worked perfectly if –“
“Shut your mouth. No ifs.”
“The truth of the matter is that I only suffered from a minor lapse of judgement, see, and I suppose my failure to factor in numerous factors may have factored in my failure. But, Carlos, m’friend, don’t you worry your hairy fuzzy head over it. I’ll handle the bar tab.”
“Handle the – why, you have nay coins left, you lying dog!”
Rambunctious clambered onto the bar table, bringing him face to face with Carlos. The man was grizzly, his expression stern. It was understandable, really, thought Ramble sympathetically. The tabs for the room, food, and services had run so high that old Carlos was probably incapable of counting it.
“I’m a wizard, old boy. I have a spellbook.”
“Yeah? Conjure up some money will you?”
Ramble leaned in, making sure to work up a magical glint in his eyes for maximum effect.
“There’s a certain spell of elementary nature that almost every wizard in the realm knows. It is a commonly employed spell used to get out of tricky situations, such as, f’r example, angry goblins…or perhaps innkeeps.”
“I’m listening.”
He looked around dramatically, making sure there was nobody listening – and also that there was a clear run to the door.
“It’s called Expeditious Retreat.”
It was by noon that Carlos returned to his bar, angry and grumbling, and subsequently he discovered that the gnome had also pilfered his wallet. Thus, the lying bastard of a gnome officially suffered a ban from every tavern within Baldur’s Gate. But by that time, Ramble has already boarded a ship, and was setting sail, North, for faraway lands – lands where citizens may be more receptive to the concept of a grand heist…and giving poor innocent gnomes coins for magic tricks.
I plan to use this thread to put in stories about my various chararacters. I probably have no patience to write dairy entries, but I do enjoy short stories. Here is a character who's in the pipeline. His name is Rambunctious "Ramble" Oldcastle (last name disputed), and he speaks with an outrageous John Cleese accent. If you don't know who he is, go youtube him up...
When you meet the man himself in game, please respect keeping IC and OOC knowledge seperate, and don't be afraid to let yourself be swindled by the old boy
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The Grand Heist of Baldur’s Gate: Epilogue“I’ll admit,” said Rambunctious, twirling his magnificent moustache. “That it didn’t go quite according to plan.”
“You can say that again, you thrice-cursed bastard gnome!” yelled Carlos, slamming one of his massive hairy palms down onto the bar table. As he noticed the look of his patrons, he coughed awkwardly and lowered his voice to a throaty whisper -
“Now how do you plan on repaying your tab?”
“Well now, old friend, see, the thing is, my plan would have worked perfectly if –“
“Shut your mouth. No ifs.”
“The truth of the matter is that I only suffered from a minor lapse of judgement, see, and I suppose my failure to factor in numerous factors may have factored in my failure. But, Carlos, m’friend, don’t you worry your hairy fuzzy head over it. I’ll handle the bar tab.”
“Handle the – why, you have nay coins left, you lying dog!”
Rambunctious clambered onto the bar table, bringing him face to face with Carlos. The man was grizzly, his expression stern. It was understandable, really, thought Ramble sympathetically. The tabs for the room, food, and services had run so high that old Carlos was probably incapable of counting it.
“I’m a wizard, old boy. I have a spellbook.”
“Yeah? Conjure up some money will you?”
Ramble leaned in, making sure to work up a magical glint in his eyes for maximum effect.
“There’s a certain spell of elementary nature that almost every wizard in the realm knows. It is a commonly employed spell used to get out of tricky situations, such as, f’r example, angry goblins…or perhaps innkeeps.”
“I’m listening.”
He looked around dramatically, making sure there was nobody listening – and also that there was a clear run to the door.
“It’s called Expeditious Retreat.”
*
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