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"Pick a side! By the time I return I expect a real answer from you," the man bellowed at her. Lilly held her broken body against the wall as her mind raced.
Lilly couldn't understand it. Why did she need to? Why could there be no truce here? Why did she have to pick a side in this war? They had worked together for so long, and this was never an issue. She had not betrayed them. Not to the Thayvians. Not to her own church. Not to anyone.
Even when she heard her own goddess' proclamation several days before, it didn't move her. Why not? She did not feel the urge, the need, to betray them. Shar commanded war, but Lilly sought peace. Was she betraying Shar? She struggled to form a truce here. They had worked together for so long, why did they need to fight? She couldn't feel it. It was strange. Shar was in every fiber of her being, her soul favored by the Dark Goddess, yet she could not feel the urge to fight.
How was it that she was never taught of their mutual hatred? Her goddess, and their god. He was too insignificant, too weak? That didn't make sense. How could she not be taught of this if it was her fate to end up working alongside them? How...how....
But what if she did know? What if she did know of this hate the whole time? Would she have ever gotten this close to them? Would she have allowed it? No. It would not have happened. But it was fated, so there had to be a reason. If not peace, what?
Lilly sat alone in the shrine, huddled against the wall. She looked to the altar of that god, the one that made them betray her. She remembered so painfully the time, only a few days before, that they dragged her in front of the altar, forced her to kneel, and made her listen, dared to try and convert her. They told her Shar was not there, that she could not hear or save her then. But..they were wrong. When she doubted her faith, Shar heard, and left Lilly feeling empty, as if she was without Shar's divine power, suddenly.
For most who are so close to the divine, this act of loss would make them doubt more, make them cringe and truly weak to the words of another god who wanted their worship. But Lilly was Sharran. Loss is everything to her, to them.
In that instant, several days before, when she felt her power wane, Lilly immediately thought to something her sister Marley once told her. Marley told her about a trial of faith she went through.
In her effort to become a disciple of Shar, Marley at one point was stripped of her powers, left in the Shadow Plane alone with hostile shadows around her. Her faith and her strength was all she had, but she did not falter. It was something she never should have told Lilly. This secret was truly for the disciples alone, not even the regular clergy. So why did her sister tell her?
But in that moment, when she felt Shar's favor wane, she knew. Her sister knew she would need this knowledge that day. And Lilly held fast to her faith that day. She fought back against the lies, the honeyed words of that other god. The loss she felt empowered her, and the rival god was forced to admit defeat. He could not convert her soul. She would remain Shar's.
But why was that important now? Now when she was a wreck, broken against the wall, betrayed a second time by those she trusted. How could she be forced to choose between her goddess and this family?
She winced in pain as she kept thinking, wondering if she should not have made a contingency plan, to betray the family, to disperse their secrets to all their enemies. But she had ruled that out days ago. Secrets belong to Shar, even those of this rival god and this family that followed him. Betraying them, revealing their secrets, that would ultimately betray Shar. Besides...she was Shar's agent here, even if she did not know why. Shar would know what she knew, and could use her information to hurt the family at her leisure, even if it was not Lilly's role in the war to do so herself.
Lilly looked from the altar to her boot, to the cold, dark blade she kept there. "Cold Night", she called it. The Thayvians made it for her, and it had served her well. But could she raise it against the family she once trusted? She was doomed here, she knew that. They would kill her when she refused to make the choice again. There were too many of them to fight her way out. She couldn't kill them all.
She looked back to the altar. They might even sacrifice her. That would truly be unacceptable! Her soul belonged to Shar. She grew angry thinking of her soul being used to power some weak god's machinations, in a final act of betrayal by her adopted family. But...that could not be her fate. That could not be why she was here, now.
Lilly sat against the wall in the shrine room. She looked between the altar and her blade. She looked around. There was no one else here. They left her alone here. He locked the door when he left. He gave her time, purposely. He expected her to decide.
She drew her sword from her boot. She now knew what her fate was, and she would accept it willingly. She crawled to the altar. She struggled to her knees before it, kneeling before the altar of that rival god. She thought he must be watching with some sense of satisfaction right now, believing she would beg for mercy, for acceptance, to convert. But she was smirking.
She brought the blade up, and braced it against the altar, bringing her chest to lean against the tip.
"Shar, take me! Destroy that which they hold most dear! Destroy this altar! Tell my sister to avenge me."
She pressed her weight against the blade. It drove deep into her, barely missing her heart, but cutting the large artery. As her heart continued to beat, struggling to keep life within her, it bled out of her, down the blade. It bleed onto the altar, and drew a crimson line from the top of the slab to the floor. Her blood began pooling at her knees as her life faded.
"I choose Shar," Lilly struggled with breath, but not the words. Her life faded seconds later, into the blackness and into the void that she desired so much.
And with a resounding boom, her blood glowed purple, then black. Where it drew its line across the altar, the blood boiled and sundered the altar. Where it pooled on the ground it cursed the place. The altar lay broken and powerless, much like Lilly. She had finally understood everything, and served her goddess to the end.
Lilly couldn't understand it. Why did she need to? Why could there be no truce here? Why did she have to pick a side in this war? They had worked together for so long, and this was never an issue. She had not betrayed them. Not to the Thayvians. Not to her own church. Not to anyone.
Even when she heard her own goddess' proclamation several days before, it didn't move her. Why not? She did not feel the urge, the need, to betray them. Shar commanded war, but Lilly sought peace. Was she betraying Shar? She struggled to form a truce here. They had worked together for so long, why did they need to fight? She couldn't feel it. It was strange. Shar was in every fiber of her being, her soul favored by the Dark Goddess, yet she could not feel the urge to fight.
How was it that she was never taught of their mutual hatred? Her goddess, and their god. He was too insignificant, too weak? That didn't make sense. How could she not be taught of this if it was her fate to end up working alongside them? How...how....
But what if she did know? What if she did know of this hate the whole time? Would she have ever gotten this close to them? Would she have allowed it? No. It would not have happened. But it was fated, so there had to be a reason. If not peace, what?
Lilly sat alone in the shrine, huddled against the wall. She looked to the altar of that god, the one that made them betray her. She remembered so painfully the time, only a few days before, that they dragged her in front of the altar, forced her to kneel, and made her listen, dared to try and convert her. They told her Shar was not there, that she could not hear or save her then. But..they were wrong. When she doubted her faith, Shar heard, and left Lilly feeling empty, as if she was without Shar's divine power, suddenly.
For most who are so close to the divine, this act of loss would make them doubt more, make them cringe and truly weak to the words of another god who wanted their worship. But Lilly was Sharran. Loss is everything to her, to them.
In that instant, several days before, when she felt her power wane, Lilly immediately thought to something her sister Marley once told her. Marley told her about a trial of faith she went through.
In her effort to become a disciple of Shar, Marley at one point was stripped of her powers, left in the Shadow Plane alone with hostile shadows around her. Her faith and her strength was all she had, but she did not falter. It was something she never should have told Lilly. This secret was truly for the disciples alone, not even the regular clergy. So why did her sister tell her?
But in that moment, when she felt Shar's favor wane, she knew. Her sister knew she would need this knowledge that day. And Lilly held fast to her faith that day. She fought back against the lies, the honeyed words of that other god. The loss she felt empowered her, and the rival god was forced to admit defeat. He could not convert her soul. She would remain Shar's.
But why was that important now? Now when she was a wreck, broken against the wall, betrayed a second time by those she trusted. How could she be forced to choose between her goddess and this family?
She winced in pain as she kept thinking, wondering if she should not have made a contingency plan, to betray the family, to disperse their secrets to all their enemies. But she had ruled that out days ago. Secrets belong to Shar, even those of this rival god and this family that followed him. Betraying them, revealing their secrets, that would ultimately betray Shar. Besides...she was Shar's agent here, even if she did not know why. Shar would know what she knew, and could use her information to hurt the family at her leisure, even if it was not Lilly's role in the war to do so herself.
Lilly looked from the altar to her boot, to the cold, dark blade she kept there. "Cold Night", she called it. The Thayvians made it for her, and it had served her well. But could she raise it against the family she once trusted? She was doomed here, she knew that. They would kill her when she refused to make the choice again. There were too many of them to fight her way out. She couldn't kill them all.
She looked back to the altar. They might even sacrifice her. That would truly be unacceptable! Her soul belonged to Shar. She grew angry thinking of her soul being used to power some weak god's machinations, in a final act of betrayal by her adopted family. But...that could not be her fate. That could not be why she was here, now.
Lilly sat against the wall in the shrine room. She looked between the altar and her blade. She looked around. There was no one else here. They left her alone here. He locked the door when he left. He gave her time, purposely. He expected her to decide.
She drew her sword from her boot. She now knew what her fate was, and she would accept it willingly. She crawled to the altar. She struggled to her knees before it, kneeling before the altar of that rival god. She thought he must be watching with some sense of satisfaction right now, believing she would beg for mercy, for acceptance, to convert. But she was smirking.
She brought the blade up, and braced it against the altar, bringing her chest to lean against the tip.
"Shar, take me! Destroy that which they hold most dear! Destroy this altar! Tell my sister to avenge me."
She pressed her weight against the blade. It drove deep into her, barely missing her heart, but cutting the large artery. As her heart continued to beat, struggling to keep life within her, it bled out of her, down the blade. It bleed onto the altar, and drew a crimson line from the top of the slab to the floor. Her blood began pooling at her knees as her life faded.
"I choose Shar," Lilly struggled with breath, but not the words. Her life faded seconds later, into the blackness and into the void that she desired so much.
And with a resounding boom, her blood glowed purple, then black. Where it drew its line across the altar, the blood boiled and sundered the altar. Where it pooled on the ground it cursed the place. The altar lay broken and powerless, much like Lilly. She had finally understood everything, and served her goddess to the end.