Storytime with Zhvey

[Ajinai]

"Hey, did I ever tell you how I made my way down here?" The cave was dark. Fit perfectly for the hin. The ogres had been looking for him for hours now, shouting in their grunting language. Some had beaten up the few rocks Zhvey had given hats to. Stupid beings. The bigger the body, the smaller the brain. "Really, its a good story, full of excitement, adventure and drinking." The giant ogre's head rolled to its side and its dead face turned away from Zhvey "Hey, don't be like that, I need you for the bounty. We have time to kill since your friends are trying to look for me and you really did a number on my feet so I can't run that well. So anyway, I'm Zhvey, accountant, locksmith, gladiator and general man of delights. Now your asking how I ended up here in this smelly cave filled with you smelly oafs. That is a good question." One of the magic weaving ogres stopped for a moment and Zhvey peeked from behind the rocks. "Now that you mention it, it might have been a good idea to kill them before killing you." Sitting down, Zhvey combed his messy hair with his fingers, stopping to think if the half dried blood was his or the ogres. He had been over his head before, but now his enemies were seven heads above him. "Well years ago I used to do things that were less agreeable. I've never been rich you know, so I did what I had to to survive. If that is not alright with you, then you can be dead silent... heh. Anyhow, I got into some trouble over a shipment that went missing. Yes, actually missing. I have no idea where it went, and everyone blames me. Because I'm a hin you know. And a locksmith. I'm not even wearing black armor, do I really look that untrustworthy?" One of the ogres shouted something and pointed towards the small hole in which Zhvey had left a small twig to smolder. "And that's why I smoke a pipe all the time, our queue to leave my drooling friend."

It had taken some limping through the shadows, but the hin had left the cave without any more commotion. Lighting his pipe with an old gnomish mechanism, he turned back to the severed head "Oh this? I got it from a friend. Nice fellow that gnome. Decent people if their feet wouldn't be so large. So anyway, things heated up real bad between me and my pals back home, and I became pretty afraid of losing head... you know, like you did... heh. So I took my two legs and scrammed. You know life isn't easy going from an accountant to everyman. Its all about attitude if you ask me. If someone asks you to bring him a bouquet, you bring 'em one. Maybe its not perfect, but who cares? You might find a secret talent of picking flowers. Which reminds me..." The hin stopped by the path to pick up some flowers. "Its only two days late, love takes time, I'm sure he'll still pay two or three stags for this" The hin waved around the shabby bouquet of flowers before of the severed ogre head."Shh!" Zhvey hissed "Do you hear that? That's gnarling. And what gnarls like that can't be any other than gnolls..." The halfling rolled behind some nearby rocks, clutching his side "Think I might have a broken bone, thanks to you. Wouldn't be the first time I'm in these kinds of situations. Being an accountant like I was, you very often end up alone in the middle of enemies and can rely on nothing but your wits and whims. You do know accounting has lots of infiltration too?" Rolling the head next to the rocks, Zhvey stood up and pulled out his knives. "I'll be right back honey..."

Muddy and bloody the halfling emerged from the forest, dragging an ogre's head behind him. Steady chatter followed the pair until Zhvey dropped the battered head on the feet of the captain. "There, this is where I leave you. You take care now. So, where's my pay, it better be good. These kinds of jobs shouldn't be done by one hin alone, just so you know." Receiving his pay, the short man gave a lazy wave to the troops... and one head... and headed towards the closest tavern to spend his recent earnings.

[Ajinai]

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" The Cartel project leader yelled as the halfling stepped over the battlefield that had been total chaos just a moment ago. The cartel had gathered after the reports of guards not returning from their rounds around the smuggling tunnels. Someone said they heard small sounds just like one of their traps would have gone off, but as they sent men to check it out there were nothing but shadows. "WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU DAMNED THING?!" Zhvey always knew there was no use to ever throw the things you find away. For whatever reason that Ogre from before had a glass bottle filled with dust of Fey origin. Now Zhvey didn't really trust anything from the fey, but if it would be tossed far enough from him... what could go wrong? The whole gathering of two dozen cartel had gone havoc, most yelling about enemies everywhere. Someone shoved a dagger through another's throat while one of the archers climbed some crates, just to fall down and snap her neck. For once Zhvey didn't have to do anything and the problem that was two dozen cartel members was now two captains looking at one another while pondering why they had the blood of their brothers on their hands. "You get any closer and I'll bloody murder you!" Zhvey wasn't good at one on one combat when it came to fair duels. But the head of the whole operation had gone to panic after seeing the effects of the feydust and the fact that moments later Zhvey cut down the two last survivors before they knew what happened didn't help one bit. "Where's the stuff you stole?" The hin asked with a smirk. "What stuff are you talking about? All of this is Cartel owned you little piece of..." With a snap of his fingers Zhvey dazed his opponent before he had the chance to raise his sword. With a few quick cuts the man was rendered silent. "Tsk, tsk... you shouldn't say something like that. There might be children 'round."

"You know, I'd respect you guys if you were not just so damn pathetic!" The hin yelled from top of one of the crates "I mean you put lots of effort into these operations. Too bad there are people who are ready to pay for stopping you." The halfling sat on the crate and grinned "It says Exigo here, you lying bastard. Or then your little logo looks too much like theirs. You know you're happy I didn't bring you to 'em. Who knows what a damn syndicate like 'em would do to people who steal from 'em" The halfling jumped down from the crates, gathered the stolen goods and started to slooooooooooowly drag the cart with him, grunting and panting as he fought against the weight.

"Good work, mister" The quartermaster said as he passed the payment to the exhausted halfling. Barely able to breath, Zhvey sat leaning to one of the lightpoles. "Seems like the cartel gave you bit of trouble?" Zhvey laughed at the remark. "Yeah, just like a rat gives trouble to some fine arse lady in some fine arse house. Yeah they are a bother, but one smack from a broom and SMACK! Dead mouse. Naw, it was the stolen stuff that was the trouble, bloody things weight like a ton. Whats in there anyhow?" The quartermaster didn't reveal the contents of the delivery as its Blackwood business. Zhvey didn't really care, the mission had already taken two days and the pay wouldn't get him more than a few weeks on the road before it would be spent. "Right then... back to picking flowers" The hin announced before he stood up and started dragging himself through the streets and towards the tavern...

[Ajinai]

Everyman, the name Zhvey had chosen to give his new profession. Any job and he's the man to do it. Maybe Anyman would have been better. No, no... Everyman gives an image of someone who has it all. "I'm done with the public area, going to go help that girl upstairs" Zhvey yelled at the bartender as he started to drag his mop and bucket upstairs. He was doing the job for way less than he would have wanted, but the halfling had started to miss the meaningless everyday tasks. Back home he would always help for family dinners, annoy his mother while she tried to prepare dinner for eleven hungry mouths, tell his brothers how he had gotten a bonus from accounting and could now afford to buy them a new wheel for the cart and most of all laugh. There wasn't much of that in the small house they lived in, too much work to do. There was always work, always had to make days meet. No time to be lazy... never time to be lazy. Zhvey looked down the hallway and waved at the usual cleaner: "Hey, I finished downstairs and thought I'd give you a hand, any rooms that need some quick fixing?" Zhvey liked the girl. She was always working, like one should be. They never talked for too long. Zhvey was busy getting downstairs to collect his drinks as payment and the girl didn't enjoy having a halfling taking her work. "There is a small mess in room four" That was all Zhvey needed as he headed to the room and started mopping up. Ten minutes later the halfling was sitting on the bar, enjoying his free drinks of the evening.

Maybe it had been long enough. Maybe they had forgotten all about that mess. Just like it had taken 20 minutes for Zhvey to clean up whatever that sailor had eaten for dinner, maybe they had already cleaned up that horrible misunderstanding. What of it though. Zhvey was making money. He has a chance to be rich now. He'll return a noble, buy his mother a mansion... yeah, a mansion. Huge one. Bigger than that of any human mansion. And because the stories have to be only half the height it'll have even more rooms that a similar human one! Zhvey couldn't help but to smile at the thought. Yeah, he'd make his mother proud, stop her from worrying about him. He had always done everything for his family. Even now, miles away from home he could smell the bread his mother always burned... "DID YOU TELL THAT BLOODY HALFLING TO DUMB THE PAPERS TO THE OVEN AGAIN! I WILL KILL YOU!" Though for now Zhvey would have to settle for cooking trouble.

[Ajinai]

He had promised himself a long time ago that he wasn't going to do jobs like this ever again. But the promise of a handsome reward is something any self respecting everyman would never turn down. Tell you what, lets say this was for the good ol' times and Zhvey was doing it for nostalgia's sake so we won't run to any moral dilemmas here. The road was used by many, so after the first few hours the halfling had stopped making notes. Now he was just writing down the persons who made him interested. Knighty persons, merchants with lots of things, some people and... her. There she was, walking around again. "Where you going? Go on, stay on sight this time..." The hin disappeared out of sight for a moment and made his way to the road. Settling next to a caravan, he started following his target. "Don't you vanish on me again, you hear..." He muttered to himself.

An hour to the future, a halfling sat in a tavern drinking a flagon of ale. "Bloody damnation, I have to get myself a set of specs. A pair that helps me see even the damn dustpebbles in the air. Slippery lass..." The halfling opened his ledger and read through his notes. There was plenty there, enough to get him paid. But more would have meant more pay. Chugging down the last from his mug, he sat up and on his way out tipped his hat to the bouncer. He had more work to do...



"Stop chasing your shadow and come eat!" For what it was worth, the old hin lady was able to summon incredibly loud voice when needed. Some had given the old lady Dustshoe the nickname of Alarmbell, but she was quick to make anyone regret calling her that when she was around. Somewhere even beyond that shout, there was a young halfling boy chasing after a dog. "Come back here, Shadow! We gotta get back home to eat..." The dog ran first past the stall and made the merchant stumble, quick to follow, Zhvey knocked the poor lad over. "Sorry, so sorry, my dog got away..." Zhvey started to gather the sweetbuns to his lap while the baker rolled over his stomach to get on his feet "That mutt needs to be taught better, boy! This is the third time this week!" The youngster of a hin nodded and then just shrugged "I've been trying, but everyone says I gotta show dominance... that be pretty hard when I'm this short you know..." Handing back the sweets the boy ran after his dog, yelling sorries as he vanished to the alleyway. Just behind the corner the black dog waited, drooling over the treats to come. Opening his jacket, Zhvey dropped picked a bun from one of his pockets and handed it to the dog: "Good job Shadow, good job!" Atleast now his family would have something sweet to eat tonight. Now to come up with a lie to make her mother think he earned them...

Others had started to gather the plates off the table as Zhvey stood infront of old lady Dustshoe in the back room. "You know what I feel about stealing!" "Its just a few buns! And he's fat anyway, he doesn't need to eat them. And he wasn't going to sell them before the evening anyway!" "I do not care what the case is, you do not steal you hear me! Tomorrow you are marching back there and telling the poor man what you did. You will then work for him until you've paid for what you've taken from him!" "But ma! Its not fair!" "If you want to get sweets, then you are going to work for them, like everyone else! Now get to your room, you are going to have a few days filled with hard work so you are going to need the rest!" "Gotta get better at lying..." The halfling muttered as he walked upstairs. He was so not going to be one of those who would always just think about work and how to get paid.

[Ajinai]

Zhvey hated being over his head. The constant feeling of not knowing enough always had eaten the hin inside. He was a simple man of simple jobs, he never did any magic or weird creepy things just to avoid asking too many questions he couldn't answer. And then he got himself into this mess. He drained his mug dry as he turned his gaze towards the road. It was good he had other jobs to occupy himself, just so he wouldn't piss himself off too much. The girl passed him, in her own little world again, doing her things. She'd walk out the town in a few hours, head down the road, take a left and vanish. Then some time later she'd end up in Second Wind, take a few drinks and chat up some people before turning back. It was so routine it made Zhvey sick. No one was like that. Maybe she knew? No, impossible, Zhvey would never be so careless. "Hey, Everyman, you need a job for tonight?" The innkeep asked from the doorway. Zhvey looked up from his drink and shook his head: "Am doing something else. Keep that in mind though, I'll probably be back in a few." The innkeeper shrugged and went back inside as Zhvey placed his mug on the bench and started slouching behind the trail he had begun to know a little too well.

"So whats the deal with you then?" Nobody liked the owner of the Rusty Mug and the owner of the Rusty Mug liked nobody, an arrangement that left everyone happy. The Rusty Mug was the most horrible tavern around. The ale tasted like mud and dirt and the wine tasted like ale, for whatever reason. The place smelled like smoke and rot and the leaky roof kept the place always humid. Zhvey pulled out a small slip from his pocket: "T-there is a job here?" Before Zhvey even realized it he was pulled in to the horrible stench and escorted to a room in the back. There, a man dressed way too well to be spending his time in such a place greeted the young halfling with a friendly smile: "Zhvey the Rascal Bastard I presume?" Zhvey didn't like people using his nicknames, but he didn't feel like it was his place to complain about it now: "You had a job, and offered a big pay?" The man smiled and pulled out a pipe. Filling the base from a mahogany box he nodded: "Enough for your family to live for three months. All of them. And if you do well, we'll hire you again, and one day all of your sisters and your mother will live in a big mansion, and you have to never work again." Something stank up the room, and it wasn't the stink of the tavern. No one offers jobs like that. But after the lost harvest and the broken leg sister Zhalian had, Zhvey couldn't bring himself to care: "Alright, whats the job?" There were few things Zhvey would remember for the rest of his life, and the smile the man had when they shook hands for agreement was one of those. It was beyond wicked, it was full of greed and arrogance and Zhvey hated it... and now he was working for the man.