Letters Home

[Vaelek]

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Engler, I am-

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To the parents of William Engler. I am-

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My name is Esmond Aurelianus, and I lead the unit where your son was killed outside Avanthyr.

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- I led the unit in Avanthyr where your son died-

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- Unit in Avanthyr where your son William died.

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I didn't get the chance to know him well, but-

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I didn't know William well, but he seemed like a good soldier and a brave young-

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I served with William only for a short time, but I was impressed by his bravery and his commitment to duty.

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He died so that I-

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William saved me at the sacrifice of his-

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He died ensuring that others would live.

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I regret-

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I'm sorry for your-

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I hope the knowledge of his bravery is some consolation.

To the parents of William Engler.

My name is Esmond Aurelianus, and I lead the unit in Avanthyr where your son William died.
I served with William only for a short time, but I was impressed by his bravery and his commitment to duty.

He died ensuring that others would live.

I hope the knowledge of his bravery is some consolation.
His sacrifice is not in vain.

Dearest Father,

It is in the trial of leadership that I have learned what I have so often read.
Reality is a cruel mistress.

I fought to take this command, argued the transfer of these men.
Believe in yourselves, I told them. Helm follows us into the fray, I promised each and every soul. Every man in this company knows that Port Avanthyr will fall without us guarding it's front.

There are days I even believed that lie. I bled rivers, it seems, to make it true.

But it isn't, is it?

These men die not because they have to. But because I decided that they were 'necessary collateral'. Because they would forward my own vision for the valley, for its future. For...what, I wonder.

May the service of Helm ever be glorious.


Send my love to mother.
I miss home.

Esmond

[Vaelek]

Addressed to Julius Aurelianus

The morning broke foggy, but the fog cleared shortly after sunrise. I was mid-patrol when the last of it began to fade. The brevity of that mist was a blessing many of my men owe their lives to. Two others stand now in Everwatch with the shame of being bested by the weather.

Bloodmaim are far from intelligent but they're devilishly clever.
The wargs move more quickly than our scouts by a full mile and make no more noise than the soft pad of their paws on mud. By the time we realized the unit was being hit, they were gone again chasing the retreat of morning fog.

All eyes turned to me after the one-sided skirmish. Eyes clouded by fear, doubt and shock at the suddenness of our loss. Eyes that expect me to be more than I am; more than a man lost in an impossible task. A few words of encouragement and a curse on our enemy was all I could muster.

I don't know if it was enough.
How can it ever be?

***

I had a dream the night before last. The arbiters still ruled, the city had not left it's earthen roots and Sestra was still home.
There was a scent in the air, a flower I'd forgotten in the year we cowered in the hovering fortress.
Reality was more bitter than any day before upon waking.

The mud and rain are all we smell now, the filth of it sticks to armor no matter how the squires clean and polish it.
I don't think I could survive this with sanity intact if not for the men.
Their devotion and quiet fervor in duty are all that keeps me most days.

Looking in the mirror, I keep practicing the expression they wear.
I think it works.