The Noble Path

[cmosier]

It's hard to say where one should start when writing about themselves. Hells, I'm not even sure if that's even such a good idea. The story, after all, isn't objective. You only get one point of view when reading it. Still. I feel some thoughts and stories need to be recorded. For my own sake.

I used to have a younger sister. Aurora. She has been in my thoughts as of late, especially with everything that has happened concerning the Meriadocs. My last memories of her were as a little girl in Waterdeep. I had been with Emiko for about two months when I finally got to see my sister for the first time in 5 years.

I remember the smile on her face as she bounded toward me, her black curls bouncing with each stride. "Bebe! Bebe!" I didn't think Emiko's face was large enough to hold the grin that was forming on her face upon hearing my nickname.

Byrun gets up from his desk, walks over to his bed, and sits for a moment. He sighs several times; rubbing his face, as if he was unsure if he wants to travel down this road.

The last words I remember my sister saying to me. "Take me with you , Bebe! I hate it here!" I remember holding her while she cried. Telling her that I loved her and would write as often as I could. I know she told me she loved me too, but sadly, her voice saying those words are drowned out in my memories of that day. Maybe I should've taken her with me. Maybe I should've done a lot of things.

I learned of her fate when I returned home. Some of what I've heard doesn't need to be written. I'm happy to keep the biased memories I have of her. I've seen the statue of her at one of the Legion buildings in the City. All I see when I look at it is cold gray stone. Rough edges. Lifeless. The bouncing curls and gray eyes are absent. I wonder what she was like as a young woman. Was she happy in the end? What would it have been like to know her?

Byrun gets up again, giving time to allow the ink to dry. He begins to get ready to get some rest for the day when another thought enters his mind. He quickly runs back to the open book.

What was her story like?

[cmosier]

Emiko

Byrun sits on his bed. His thoughts heavily on his solution to the issue at hand. It is his idea. He said the words. Everything still seemed like a dream, though. He lights a candle and sits at his desk.

Emiko had to be the most amazing woman I've ever met. She wasn't from Faerun. She was from the far east, a place called Kara Tur. She didn't have a Family name. She said that was left behind, and it was for the better. She was no taller than elf, straight black hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. She held her hair together with a light blue hair ribbon. It was tied in a fashion that it formed an upside down V that ran down to the middle of her back.

Oddly enough, it was her skill with her unique blade that caught my eye when I was in Neverwinter, right after I left Sundren. At first, I thought the Katana was impractical. It only had one edge and was extremely awkward to use. But after I saw Emiko make short work of some thugs at the Neverwinter Docks, I was convinced that I had to learn more about the weapon and its wielder.

Byrun gets up and goes to his sword. He unwraps the ribbon. Slowly he pulls it through his fingers with his eyes closed. He sets the ribbon in front of the book, safely out of the way of the candle.

I wish I could say that it was love at first sight. Things aren't like that in real life, though. We had a bumpy go at first. The two of us were better at using weapons than words. So I can't tell you the exact moment we fell in love. I can recall our first kiss. It was when we were traveling to Waterdeep to see my sister. I was staring at the moon. I don't recall what I was thinking about, I just remember looking down and catching the moonlight on her face.

Byrun gets up and pours himself a shot of fine whiskey. He downs the shot and refills his glass and sits back down.

There is one conversation I can recall pretty clearly. We had been traveling together for three years. After a night of passion, I awoke and noticed she wasn't in bed. I got dressed and found her on the balcony sitting and looking at the stars. She looked at me and I saw what I thought was either fear or sadness. I was about to say something and she motioned for me to stop.

Byrun takes a sip of his drink and continues.

"I want you to be quiet for a minute, Bebe."

Yea. She was never going to let me live that down. I was annoyed at first, because it was a pet name from my sister, but she seemed to like it so I grew to as well.

"The way you make me feel is amazing. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. When you touch me, I still get goose bumps. When you hold me, it feels like I'm safe from the world. Hearing your voice say my name brings a smile to my face."

Byrun takes another drink.

"But there's a monster inside you. I see the fire in your eyes when you fight. How quickly you can turn from my gentle Bebe to Byrun the swordsman is frightening. You strike without a thought of mercy in your eyes. It's as if you're trying to teach your opponent a lesson."

I remember being stunned and assuring her that I wouldn't cause her harm. She just motioned me to pull her close. As I held her in my arms, I realized something. People often think falling in love is about being charming or mysterious. That all you need is a great smile and good lines to find the perfect mate. That two people meet have everything in common and it's all sunshine and happiness from there on out. No, love is about accepting each other. Learning to deal with each others' flaws, together. Love doesn't just happen, two people make it happen.

Byrun quickly finishes his drink.

I can also remember the night she died. We, or maybe just I, got careless. We were out on the road with a caravan, camping for the evening. We were caught up with each other or I would have heard the guard wonder off. I would have heard the orcs approach.

A warriors worst nightmare. Being caught without armor, unprepared. The battle was fierce but seemed to go by quickly. When it was all said and done, I had an arrow in my shoulder. Emiko, however, had been killed by an orc's axe. Death is often glorified in stories. There were no last words. No final I love you. Only her dead eyes staring into nothing. No. It's not glorious. It's final. Painful.

I shared everything with her. She knew me. The good and the bad and loved me regardless. That was over two years ago. I haven't sought the company of another woman in that time. It's not due to lack of want or opportunity. Not really even a sense of loyalty. I can't put the feeling into words. Maybe when I have to, I'll be able to explain it.

I'm well aware that Noble men have certain expectations when it comes sexual conquest and I know I fall well short of that expectation. It's one expectation I'm proud to have avoided.

Byrun wraps the ribbon back around the handle of his sword, blows the candle out, and goes to sleep.

[cmosier]

My Brother

((Mature Language Warning))

Byrun gets up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. He lights a candle and grabs a half empty bottle of liquor and sits at his desk.

The conversation went about as well as I could've expected. Still, his words sting, and he knows they do.

"Are you some kind of fucking idiot?! She could've had her guards hold you down while she slit your throat!"

He had a point. I understand that Cyrus loves me as any brother should. My actions were careless. I could have seriously harmed everything my family has worked for with my ignorance.

The tirade went on a bit longer. He hurled some insults at the Mercenaries. I wish he wouldn't do that. They have a hard enough time in this Valley already. I do my best to treat them with the respect they deserve. Perhaps my brother has forgotten that our wealth was partially earned as mercenaries. That's where it all started. I'm not damn fool enough to remind him when he's in that kind of mood.

He was receptive to the arrangement that Lady Meriadoc and I came up with. I could have sworn I saw something in his eyes when I told him. Something that actually made me a little nervous. I was surprised to how receptive he was to the idea of Lord Ulsteris in regards to Mirakus Post, as well. I still have an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Byrun takes a large drink from the bottle.

He also agreed that this is my arrangement and he would do his best to stay out of it. He had a warning.

"I hope you don't let any new fondness for Evelyn cloud your judgment, Byrun."

I assured him that my life... my loyalty is to House Hellstrom. His words are what keep me awake now.

"I have no doubt. Because should I sense otherwise... I will remind you."

Byrun takes a deep breath. He caps the bottle and sets it down on the desk.

In the end, my brother will see the wisdom in this choice and reward me. We will have influence in all corners of the Valley. Even more so than we have now. I just hope Evelyn understands the fate I saved her from. I will not only have to suffer for my mistakes, but for hers as well.

[cmosier]

A Shining Light

((Slight Mush Content Warning))

The woman shifts in her sleep, allowing Byrun to gently slip out of the bed. He retrieves his book from his pack and uses his glowing ring to see the pages.

I haven't been to the Comfort since I was child. The food was damn good, the company was great, and the night couldn't have ended better. I'm not quite sure why I let my guard down. I'm not usually this careless with my desires or emotions.

I'm both haunted and hopeful. One of the first real things I said to her was "The next time you have a thought that stupid, keep it in your head." I was angry, as usual. She took it to heart, too. Her face couldn't hide that. I don't know how she managed to see past that. A few days later I was holding her close in the rain as she whispered to me, "You're a good man Byrun."

I think people are expecting too much of me. I'm by no means the monster that some people make me out to be, but a Good Man? She's not the first person to say such a thing either. What is it they see in me that I don't? My interest has been to be a good solider and to protect what my Family has earned. I just feel some sort of responsibility for those I'm supposed to look after. Be they friends, allies, or fellow warriors.

Cyrus wouldn't agree with me on this. I underst

Byrun stops on the last word as he feels a light caress on his shoulder. His neck is gently kissed as he hears her voice.

"Why don't you come back to bed with me?"

Sounds like a damn fine idea.

[cmosier]

War. War never changes.

The deal with the dwarves seems all wrapped up. I went offering a friendly warning and received an offer of aid. It's much appreciated. I promised them my loyalty in exchange for theirs, and I meant it. They have been my best allies thus far.

There was the uncomfortable topic. We both knew it had to be said out loud.

"No quarter should be expected and none will be given."

Slaughter. Every able body that takes up arms against us will be put down. The very idea can put anybody in a foul mood. War is not the glorious crusade the masses think it is. It's nasty, filthy work. It can change a person. Not just physically, but change who that person is. The dwarf nodded in agreement, satisfied but solemn.

There was the other topic. It didn't sit well with the dwarves to slaughter every living thing. They were concerned with the women and children. I understood this all too well. I'm far from a monster and have no wish to slaughter innocents. I saw the dwarves face as, again, I said what needed to be said.

"They're barbarians. You know the women and children will take up arms against us. If they do so, they will have to be treated as the others."

The dwarf nodded. He had to feel as unsettled at that fact as I did. A pit formed in my stomach just at the thought. I was sure I was going to get sick if I dwelled on it too long. You learn how to block that stuff out after awhile, but the initial shock is till there for me.

All's fair in love and war is an old cliché. Usually used as an excuse to pardon one's own unfavorable actions. I think it's more of a warning. Do not expect a fair fight.

The sooner all this is done, the sooner me and my troops can recover.

[cmosier]

Untitled

Byrun looks over the page and starts blacking out sentences and paragraphs. This is what remains.

What do they want? That was not a look of normal name recognition. My Family's name is well known, but that smile was something different. Personal.

More inked out paragraphs.

I know I shouldn't, but I want to go. I'd lose everything. I just started to regain trust in Blackwood.

More inked out paragraphs.

... about Lihana? What if they find out? What if she finds out everything?

Not now. Gods.

Byrun gets up and starts to drink, understanding sleep will not find him otherwise.

[cmosier]

Moving Forward

Byrun sits in his room and stares at his book. Nothing comes to mind. Nothing that needs to be written down. Not until more is known. He stares at his katana that hangs over the desk. After several minutes pass, he stands and takes his sword. He slowly unwraps the light blue ribbon that hangs from the hilt. He looks at it fondly before putting it in a case and storing it in his desk.

That time has passed. Time to move forward.

[cmosier]

The Game

I'm starting to form bonds with many of my Mercenaries. Dalcha assures me this is dangerous, as it's my job to send them into harm's way. I suppose she has a point, but it reminds me that these are people before making such a decision.

I was relaxing out by my Arena with Laurana after battling the Bloodmaim. Laurana is a talented elven archer. She's a tough woman. Her face bares the scars of battles past and her experience with mercenaries is very apparent.

I asked her if she thought we could stay neutral. If at some point, would we have to choose a side?

"Probably. But if you play the game right, there's plenty of coin to be made."

I hate that term. The Game. It's seems everybody wants to play whatever the Hells this game is. I'm not blind to the fact that I'm waist deep in politics most of the time. There's just too much at stake to refer to it as a The Game.

I took Laurana over to a game board and set the pieces the up accordingly. After a couple of moves I asked her if she knew the easiest way to win. After shaking her head, I drew my katana and cleaved the board in two, sending pieces everywhere.

As often is the case, her response was brief. "Effective."

She must have seen something else, though. "Is there something on your mind, Commander?"

I sat for a minute. The talk of The Game reminding me of that unfortunate night in front of the Second Wind Inn. I mustered the courage to just ask her. I wanted to know if she ever given any thought to how Sareth and I were able to get all those people to the Temple to be healed.

"I just figured Sareth used his magic to turn you ethereal. That would allow an easy escape."

A perfectly reasonable assumption. I probably should've left it at that. Perhaps the guilt of their constant thanks has gotten to me. So I told her. What was said. What I planned to do. I actually saw worry in her eyes. Her hard shell soften, something I've only seen twice before.

"Byrun... Don't go alone. Find neutral ground or meet with guards. If he truly wants to meet with you, he'll give you this."

Maybe that's why I hate that term. I know what I'm about to do and fully understand the danger. I stand to lose more than pride should things go wrong.

[cmosier]

Weakness

There's something to be said for a person who can spot their own weakness. I know I've a bad temper. I seek to hurt those who make me angry, either physically or emotionally. I've also broken one of my own rules. I've allowed myself to become close to people. This rule is set up for not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others. It's nothing for an enemy to use your compassion against you. I know this because I would do the same if I had few options. I wouldn't kill an innocent to accomplish this, but, sometimes the illusion of tyranny is as good as tyranny itself.

I've grown close to many of the mercenaries. I've mentioned earlier that some people questioned the wisdom in this. They understand their role as I understand mine. There is a cold emotionless curtain that guards a warrior in a time of battle. Your opponent ceases to be a person or creature and becomes an obstacle to be overcome. The difficult part is coming back from the place we go. To return to a person capable of feeling.


There is also the task of finding your enemy's weakness and exploiting it to your advantage. The Thayans, Whurest, and myself are all on agreement on this. Aquor is going to be brutal. We are not facing a rational foe. We are facing zealous barbarians. I'm expecting to be tested to my fullest. Physically. Emotionally. Morally. I can't say I'll be a better or worse at the end of the battle but I'm sure I'll be different, in some way, when it's all over.


I grow tired of being stuck behind a desk. I look forward to getting back into my element. Amongst my comrades. My mercenaries. I'll say the evenings and nights at the Four Lanterns have been to my liking, at least.

[cmosier]

First Blood

Byrun sits in guard tower at Miraku Post. His loyal archer, Laurana stands beside him, scanning the area.

The foul stench of burning flesh has finally begun to clear. Luarana was sure to remind me that those were our comrades. We fought along side them. Trained with them. Then we watched their bodies turn to ash as their souls departed to the Plane of whatever Power the prayed to.

We gave the barbarians a proper pyre, as well. I know they fought as zealots in the name of their Frost Bitch, but they died as warriors. Hopefully Tempus will look kindly on our respect and reward us in future endeavors.

They attacked fiercely. I was caught slightly off guard. They attacked all three Gates at the Post. We held two of the Gates. The south gate collapsed, but Kyle, Luarana, and the those under them made them pay such a price that they were unable to exploit the breach to its fullest.

The gate under Maishtar and Cephus held. Maishtar, like his fellow dwarf Kori, is remarkable. In my mind, I've questioned some of the Whurest suggestions on the siege. This will not happen again. It seems when some dwarves set their feet and decide to hold, they fully intend to do just that. The bodies seemed to pile up around the dwarf as his enemies failed to budge him.

Sandro and myself held the North Gate. I mainly gathered information from Satiah and other scouts as Sandro used his magic to hold the Gate. I'm expecting great things from Satiah.

"Are you writing in a diary, Commander?" The elf looks down from her watch for a brief moment before returning them to the surrounding area.

"It's a journal, Warrior. Not all of us will be able to tell what happened here in a hundred years or so."

"Do you plan on decorating the cover with unicorns... Sir?" The elf smirks, her golden eyes not leaving the landscape around the Post.

Byrun chuckles. "Keep it up. I'm sure the Guild Elite could use a different bunk mate. Some one to listen to his speeches as fine tunes the words."

The smirk never leaves the elf's face. "You'd let some on else guard your tent as you slept, Commander?"

Byrun shakes his head and continues writing.

A priestess named Miss Abby Winters along with Sir Dovenian and Miss Sellent assisted later with wounded. They had another man with him, Luther or some variation of that name. I've not much contact with him and I was too tired to give it much thought at the time.

Sir Dovenian presses too much. I tried to ease his worries the best I could. I promised Lihana I would try. Still. I have my secrets and I'm allowed to have them. He finally let up after I convinced him I was too weary to continue the conversation. I'm sure he'll continue his interrogation another time.

Aquor is ahead. If this battle is any indication, it will be very brutal. I've a feeling that either the barbarians will fall or I will. Tempus willing.

[cmosier]

Ill Omens

"Auril's will shall be imposed on all. Those who ward against it will pay."

That was the inscription on the axe that General Dryn said he found in the Spine. The part of the Spine where the winds are the coldest and seem to never relent. He believes this to be a bad omen and mentioned plans to appease the spirits. Tempus is different. I and my mercenaries are completely at his mercy and we must accept his will, be it in our favor or not. I can only hope my actions at Mirakus Post and the treatment of the fallen barbarians were enough for him to favor me in the upcoming battle.

I'm starting to understand that Aquor may only be the beginning of a larger issue. I had hoped to mend relations with Meriadoc afterward, though her recent actions have me doubting this will possible. I took a great risk in asking Julia to join us at Aquor and she took this as an opportunity to push back against my House. Her reasoning for doing so made little sense. She has spent so much time attempting to figure out my family's next move, I fear she's slipped into a state of delusional paranoia. Cyrus, when he finds out of my naivety, will not be pleased. He warned me of the Meriadocs and, it turns out, he was right.

Fear may be the only choice in the Valley after all. Be it at the hands of the tyrannical Black Hand or the oppressive judgment of the Emperor and those who swore allegiance to him.

[cmosier]

Loose Ends

The time is here for the Blackwood and its allies. We move soon and the Valley will change yet again. Whether it's for the better, we'll have to wait and see.

This brings about a certain reality. There's a possibility I won't return from this battle. If Tempus wills my fate on the battlefield, I've five letters to be delivered by Lihana Farrier upon my death. Should I manage to see the outcome of the battle, they will be returned to me and destroyed.

The first letter will be to Lihana Farrier. For whatever reason, she has deemed me worthy of not only her friendship and loyalty, but her love as well. She has stood beside me and believed in me, even when it seemed the rest of the Valley was against me.

The second will be to Dryn Stonewhisperer. He started as a barely known ally. He became a brother in arms then a friend. I respect his insight and wisdom a great deal.

The third letter will be to Luarana Sentari. She would find such a sentiment a silly thought, I'm sure. I am also doubtful she would allow me to fall while she still drew breath. Her loyalty is impressive.

The fourth will be to Julia Arvison. I fear that if I fall, she would be riddled with guilt. I'd want her to understand that I support her decision, though I doubt my written words would offer much comfort.

The final will be to the Blackwood and will only be delivered if we achieve victory. If I fall and we fail to take the City, there are no words a fallen warrior can offer to relieve the feeling of utter defeat.

Byrun stands and stretches, looking about the inn room. He packs his belongings and prepares to leave the Menacing Mariner. He stops briefly and leaves two peaches on the night stand with note under them.

I enjoyed our evening together. Tempus willing, we'll meet again.

Byrun

[cmosier]

Final Thoughts

I can't seem to bring myself to destroy the letters. It's amazing what a person can unlock when facing the prospect of their own demise. I've decided to copy some of the letters in this Journal. Perhaps looking back will give me pause in the future. To see how my thoughts have changed and make me more appreciative of the world around me.

[cmosier]

Letter One, Lihana Farrier

Lihana,

I couldn't imagine any words that could ease you right now. So instead of feeble attempts to console you I've decided to let you know exactly what you've meant to me. Things, that in life, I lacked the courage to admit. Things that you should've heard with my voice instead of reading after I can no longer speak.

I love you, Lihana Farrier. Of course, I've told you this. Several times. I hope my last thoughts before I passed this realm were of the look in your eyes that evening. That typical rainy Sundren evening in the Aspirations District as I walked you back to your barracks. I pushed your hair to the side and touched your cheek. Your eyes shone with a mix of fear and anticipation which seemed to quickly vanish when we kissed.

You may not have known it at the time, but you lit something that I long ago buried deep within me. I small light, reminding me that I am more than Noble, more than weapon, more than a Commander. You reminded me I was man.

I know you've defended me to point of exclusion among your peers. A lot of accusations will be made of me, especially with my passing. I want you to know, anything positive said about me is a direct result of me meeting you. You, Lihana Farrier, helped me to want to be a better person. I hope that's how you remember me. And if you're the only one in Sundren that does so, I feel I accomplished something.

I love you.

Byrun

After Thoughts

I liked hearing my name from you, and not Lord Hellstrom.

It was harder than you can imagine not running to you when I saw you.

I hated that you thought you weren't good enough for so many things.

I should have not treated you like my dirty little secret.

[cmosier]

Reluctance

I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't expect nuns and peasant girls to come to me with talk of hope. I never expected rambling adventurers to offer me friendly advice and a gift of a good luck coin. I didn't expect loyal dwarves and hardened mercenaries to look at me as a leader, instead of a commander. I didn't expect members of the Triad to offer their aid in spite of possible repercussions.

The part I really didn't expect, was to care. Sincerely care. To the point where I actually fear letting them down, and feel like a failure when I do.

I was not made to be a leader. I'm trained to do as I'm told. My Family points and I kill, or dying trying. I doubt I could tell you my first act of defiance after returning to the Valley. I think it would have to be when I went to Meriadoc and tried to assure her that I had no ill will toward the Port. Or, when I warned her that she should prepare herself because the Blackwood was leaving the Port. All I know, is that it started something that I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Shortly after freedom came kindness. I've the dwarves to thank for that. Not to mention a certain young paladin who was unusually forward and prone to given into her desires.

Byrun taps his chin and smiles briefly at the last sentence.

They showed me a great deal about myself. But even then, it was a flicker of what I was yet to learn. What I'm learning still. I'm seeking to balance the need for the callousness of war with the compassion of peace. Compassion and patience is the lesson I'm learning now.

It does no good to be a wealthy man in poor region.

Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's the will to carry on in spite of it.

I understand the consequences of my actions. In the end, I do not expect to retain my title. In truth, I doubt I'll keep my life. I was warned yet I push on in spite of my fear. Reluctantly.

Byrun closes the tome, looking around his room at the Four Lanterns as he heads to bed.