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Milo Underbush - The Wanderer

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  • Milo Underbush - The Wanderer

    He reaches down to pluck a pair of leaves from the plant near his feet, being careful not to reap too much of the precious herb, so the plant may continue to grow.
    ?Ahh, this should do nicely?, he says to himself, ?Just one more ingredient.?
    After slipping the leaves into his vest pocket and gently patting it twice, he stops to listen carefully. At first the moans of creaking trees, rustling leaves, and the howl of gusting winds dominate his perceptions. Once the wind settles, the gentle sound of water trickling over a stone is heard in the dintance.
    A smile creeps its way onto the Halfling?s face.
    ?Music to my ears.?
    He scans the area and quickly finds a deer trail that meanders towards the source of his last needed item.
    Upon reaching the stream, he briefly enjoys the beauty of a small, innocuous bird quenching its thirst a stone?s throw away before wading into the crystal clear water. He takes another moment to enjoy the feel of the silt seep between his toes before scooping up a handful of the nutrient-rich soil.
    ?Well, back to the scene of the crime.?
    With determination clearly stamped on his face, he trudges back through the forest, back to the cause of this latest mission.
    Following his own tracks back to the small clearing, he spots the sapling, broken in half and only hanging on by a thumb?s width of its grayish bark.
    ?Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such carelessness.?
    The leather-clad Halfling plops the mud from his hands down at the base of the tree, wipes his hands in the grass nearby, and removes his pack. He begins pulling various leaves and berries from his pockets and smashes them into a poultice. While gently rubbing the mixture into the wound of the tree, he utters, ?This should keep the parasites away long enough for you to make a quick recovery, my friend.?
    After straightening the tree back into its proper position, and splinting the wound with some dead timber and fibrous plant-bits, he removes the delicate silver chain from his neck and hangs it from a branch. He positions himself so that the small golden acorn at the end of the chain catches the most light, kneels, and begins to quietly speak.
    ?Shiallia, I know you do not spend much time in this forest, but if you happen to pass by, please give this tree the strength it needs to recover so that it may become the mighty giant it deserves to be. I ask no more of you than I know you will do anyway, and I..?

    ?WHAAAA! MOMMY! DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU!?!??

    ?Do you mind?!? and irritated Milo says, glaring at the little girl in the tattered dress standing nearby.

    ?I?m lost!? she pleads.

    The Halfling rolls his eyes back and huffs, ?I know. You told me that already.?

    ?You pwomised *sob* that *sob* you?d *sob* help me.?

    ?I also said I would help as soon as I finished this task.? Raising his hands towards the injured tree he exclaims, ?Does it look like I am finished??

    She places her index finger to her lips looks down at her feet and innocently nods.

    ?I most certainly am not!?

    ?But you were just sitting there?, *sob* The twee was stwaight again.?

    Milo?s face twists into a picture of rage and confusion. ?You seriously cannot tell when someone is praying? Maybe it?s a good thing your family forgot about you and left you behind you unobservant little..?

    ?WHAAAAA!?

    ?Alright, that?s enough. You?ll attract every goblin in the area with all that wailing?, the Halfling scolds. The scared little girl steadies her resolve and holds back another sob. She wipes a tear from her ruddy cheek and flashes Milo a pair of fawn-like brown eyes, silently begging him to help. Under the beckoning gaze that only the most heartless of individuals could resist, he quickly returns to the tree to gather his things and replaces the chain around his neck. He gives an apologetic smile to the human child, pats her on the back, and affirms, ?Alright kid, come-on, let?s go.? The two start their journey through the forest with the Halfling in the lead and the girl in tow.
    Milo Underbrush - Wee woodsy wanderer.

    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell-

  • #2
    continued...

    After a short period of welcome silence, the girl regains the confidence to speak. ?My name?s not ?kid?.?

    ?I know?, Milo sighs, his shoulders slumping, already dreading the direction the conversation is heading.

    ?If you know my name, why did you call me ?kid???

    ?Because I don?t know your name?, Milo states, hoping to confuse the girl with sideways logic.

    ?But you just said you did.?

    ?No, I just said I know your name isn?t ?kid?.?

    The girl abruptly stops walking and whispers, ?Oh?, completely lost in her mind trying to sort out the conversation. Her concentration is quickly broken by the flutter of a wandering iridescent blue butterfly, caught in her peripheral vision. She glances up and realizes her protector is oblivious to her pause and she rushes ahead, eventually catching up to the halfling. She quickly becomes bored with seeing tree after tree after tree and again breaks the silence. Pointing to her chest she declares, ?My name is Maribell.?
    The Halfling nods and continues to scan the forest in search of some sign of humans passing.

    Maribell taps the Halfling on the shoulder. ?What?s your name??

    ?Why do you want to know??

    ?Because I told you my name, so now you have to tell me yours.?

    ?That seems like a silly rule.?

    ?It isn?t silly!? Maribell pronounces, stamping her foot in protest. ?If I give you something, you should give me something back. My mom says that it?s common couwtesy.? She crosses her arms and punctuates her statement with a quick nod.

    ?It may be common courtesy, but giving someone anything with any expectation of getting something in return certainly isn?t common sense. You only set yourself up for disappointment when it doesn?t happen like you expect it to.? Milo lectures.

    ?Okay, I?ll just call you Mr. Gwumpy-pants? she pouts.

    ?You want to play by your rules? Fine?, the ranger curtly replies, formulating a plan to return to blessed quite. ?My name is Milo.? He points to a random squirrel in the distance. ?My animal friend there, his name is Geofery. What is your animal friend?s name??

    ?I don?t have an animal friend.?

    ?Well, then I guess you just broke your own rules. Now do you see how silly they are?? Milo smugly replies.

    ?Nuh-ah! No I didn?t. I never said you had to get the exact same thing back?, she protests. With an air of superiority only a child could command, she proclaims, ?My gwandma?s name is Tilly and my mom?s name is Gertwude, but she likes to be called Wudy.?
    Milo responds with grumbling and groaning under his breath.

    ?Milo, aren?t you going to tell me your mom?s name??

    ?Nope.? he curtly retorts.

    ?But you said you were going to follow my rules, ? she sings.

    Milo?s face begins to redden with anger, but he keeps calm. He takes a deep breath and begins his second attempt at outsmarting the child. ?My mother?s name is Harley and my father?s name is Jerald. They live just south of Neverwinter wood with my younger sister, Shanice. My two older brothers, Yantz and Jerald junior, work in a library in Waterdeep. I have a child who lives in the outskirts of Luskan and another one somewhere in Ten Towns. I do not know their names. I started life helping my father with his tobacco farm, but would frequently eschew my chores to explore the nearby forest. One day, while enraptured by a particularly spiky looking plant, I?.*20 minutes later*?.and then I found you in your torn blue dress, crying your little eyes out, in the middle of this forest. Oh, and my favorite color is green. Okay your turn. Oh, and let?s keep moving, it will be getting dark soon.?

    ?My favowite color is blue, and my favowite food is sweet-tweats, and my daddy?s name is David, and my?*30 minutes later*?.and my favowite song is ?Over the Mountain? because that is the only song I?ve ever heard. Is that enough??, Maribell asks in between labored breaths.

    ?Nope?, he replies, knowing he finally trapped the little girl in her own game. ?I told you much more than you told me. You owe me more, according to your own rules.?

    Surprisingly, she continues on. ?One time, I was wunning down the woad, and I twipped over a stone, and I skinned my knee, and it hurt sooooo bad, and a lady helped me get back up and?*40 minutes later*?and then I woke up and everyone was just gone! Was that enough??

    ?Nope.?

    ?But I don?t know anything else?, Maribell whines, ?It?s no fair. You?re more older than me.?

    ?Hey, I didn?t make the rules. You did. I guess you?ll just have to be quiet until you think of more to tell me about yourself.?

    For the first time in over three hours a smile breaks its way across Milo?s face. He celebrates by pulling out his pipe, filling the bowl with the finest wild tobacco found in the area, packing it down tightly with his thumb, filling it again, packing it again, and topping it off with a bit of apple-smoked tinder. He strikes his flint to the pipe and begins happily puffing away.

    ?My daddy says smoking is bad for you.?

    ?So is advising your elders, Maribell.? Milo says through gritted teeth.

    ?Can the goblins smell that??

    ?Maybe.?

    ?How come you told me I couldn?t cwy because it would bwing goblins, but you can smoke??

    ?Because I said so.? Milo quickly winces after making that statement, remembering his father using that very same excuse.

    ?Are those your wules??

    Milo, sensing an opportunity to turn the conversation to his favor proclaims, ?Yes, and you should follow my rules until we find your parents.?

    ?Okay?, Maribell sighs, her frown quickly transforming into a smile, ?Dance.?

    ?What??

    ?Dance?, she reaffirms.

    ?Are you crazy?! Why should I dance?? A complete look of confusion and incredulousness finds it way into Milo?s features.

    ?Because I said so.? Maribell chuckles.

    ?I am really beginning to regret my decision to help you.?

    Maribell gives Milo a little smirk and begins skipping ahead.

    The ranger, hoping to get past the idea of dancing in front of this girl for her entertainment, changes the conversation. ?Where did you say your parents were heading??

    ?Sun-something. Sundid? Sunwick? Sunpin??

    ?You mean Sundren??

    ?Mm Hm. Sundwen.?

    ?That?s a long way away, you think they?ll turn around and come back for your??

    Maribell lifts her shoulders to her ears and raises the palms of her hands above her elbows. ?They never twavel. I think it was impowtant.?

    ?Okay, to Sundren it is then. I?ve never been there before. This could be fun?, Milo absently states, ?if I were alone.?

    ?HEY!? Maribell cries aloud, scaring a grouse from its nearby resting place.

    ?Sorry.? Milo meekly replies.

    So begins Milo Underbrush?s journey toward Sundren. Will he and Maribell make it there? Only time will tell.
    Milo Underbrush - Wee woodsy wanderer.

    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell-

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