The fictitious and made up tale of Zurum - a journal

[Zuram]

*** Disclaimer - The following tale is a work of fiction and any resemblance to people you might meet and real events is simply a terrible coincidence, that goes doubly for any members of the city legion or any other group of well meaning adventures who read these pages.****
　

.....Luthar kicked over the barrel thirty pairs of hacked off goblin ears spilt onto the floor. The ears all appeared to be in a similar state of decomposition, “Talking of creepy what do you make of this, who would go through all the hassle of cutting off the goblins ears just to leave them in a barrel outside their encampment?” Zurum looked over the ears and then the half-orc simply shrugged. (A message perhaps, a warning, a mad man with a fetish for rotting ears fuck if I know.) Zurum looked into the cave rumour had it the place was over run by goblins. The foreman of the miners who had until recently been forced to leave the area had requested they enter the cave and kill as many goblins as they could.

The first thing that assaults you when you when you walk into a cave that goblins have lived in for more than a few days is the stench. Goblins, live, eat, shit and sleep in the same area. Not that they are unique in this fact but the speed at which they breed means any area they claim is quickly full of the little green skins. (Ah the familiar stench, I will have to clean my nose out with a flaming torch.) From inside the cave a dozen pairs of eyes stared out at the adventures. Nothing moved no one even breathed until one of the goblins, braver or stupider than the others charged forward.

The first goblin to charge was the first to die, its head cleaved in, but the others kept coming. Stabbing with broken swords, cheap spears and any other weapon they could lay claim to. Hacking, slashing, cleaving and bleeding the adventurers faced the goblin horde, backing towards the entrance step by step. For every step the pair were forced back two goblins lay dying. “Not exactly going to plan is it?” Luthar asked with a smile and blood trickling down a wound he had taken just above his eye. (Actually this is exactly how I thought my life would end, mangled body found being eaten by goblin horde.)

“Not exactly” Zurum replied, “Perhaps this would be the best time to suggest plan B?”

“Plan B it is then” Luthar agreed sticking his sword through a goblins chest he turned and followed the fleeing half Orc out of the mine entrance. Very few things in life encourage someone into running like being chassed by an entire horde of goblins. Looking over his shoulder Zurum could see some of the goblins had dropped behind they disliked the sunlight and thankfully there wasn’t a single cloud in the bright morning sky. (I almost question if being stabbed by the goblins would hurt less than the pain in my chest and legs from all this running.) The pair of adventurers didn’t stop until they had got back to the small mining camp….


…..The music could be heard well outside the Talent and Balance theatre. A masked ball was being held to celebrate the retaking of a military outpost. The invitation was to all people to come and join the party with free drinks, food and entertainment. However there was bound to be some sort of arrangement to keep the poor, homeless and smelling scum from attending. Zurum had only heard about the party an hour before and had purchased a cheap outfit and a half face mask. (I suspect the mask in my case may be pointless, even if another half blood should attend the scar running down my face makes me rather hideous.)

The party was packed with locals, most humans and a few elves. The hostess Mara came to greet Zurum, the half Orc discussed the differences between an Orc social gathering and a costume party. The body count tends to be smaller at human gatherings and the murder less obvious. Zurum told her a tale he had heard a child, “Once many moons ago there was an Orc warlord who had lost several battles against the tribes of humans who roam the great north. He could see his lieutenants spoke against him and planned to over throw him, but dared not face them as he had grown old and fat. One night he slipped out into wilderness to find an old female hermit who worshiped the god Yurtrus and purchased a powerful poison. He took the poison and put it into the ale barrels he had purchased from a corrupt human trader and invited all his lieutenants to drink with him at a great party he had thrown in their honour unfortunately he forgot which barrels he has poisoned and when morning came they all lay dead.” (Not exactly the way the tale happened but close enough for a human audience.)

While Zurum had many more tales to tell of Orc parties and the assassination attempts they always invited Mara let the half-orc know that she had to speak to other guests. A couple of actors portrayed a Red Wizard and his less than loyal slave threatening guests planning world domination and making everyone laugh. Else where guests danced and drank and avoided the half Orc with his hideous grin. (Not a great loss for them, I have never really been much of a party animal, and the stories I could tell are hardly suitable for polite conversation.) Some of the guests tried to guess who was under each mask or complimented the outfits that had been worn.

A little after midnight a woman walked up onto the stage, many thought this was simply a performer come to entertain them. Had anyone paid more attention they would have noticed she had been a guest earlier eating and drinking and talking to a human male. On the stage she produced a knife, some guests moved forward to look at the show, Zurum moved towards the doors. Moments later she plunged the knife into her heart and the room broke into a frenzy. (Possible the worst assassination attempt I have ever seen.)

Many of the guests turned out to be high ranking members of the clergy and a handful of doctors. They rushed to the poor girl and did their best to try and save her life. (Very few things are so final as a knife in the heart.) After the initial jokes had been made by several of the more hardened guests, (a nice way of saying psychotic.) Some of the guests tried to leave but a member of the legion, a one eyed elf stopped them. (Fortunately those trying to get out by the right hand door slipped passed him unnoticed.)

The hostess and several of the others discussed where to take the body and what should happen to it. Zurum asked if anyone knew the woman and if maybe she had killed herself for a reason. However he ruled out a simple suicide the entire event was too staged and planned for a simple upset woman killing herself. (Unless the terrible music of the bards had driven her to it, she should have killed the bards in that case stop anyone else from having to suffer.) At that point the man who had brought her to the parts advised that he had met her at a tavern and invited her. He could supply neither the name of the tavern or any information about her. The one eyed elf then asked the man to come with him to the guard station to answer some questions in private.

A flash of light, a loud bang and the man had vanished. Magic or trickery he had slipped away. A search of the building was started, while a pair of wizards took the dagger away to see if it was enchanted. (Or they took the dagger to pawn, I doubt I will ever know.) Others dragged the body off to the temple, while a few continued their search for the killer. Zurum and several of the other guests faded into the night. A day later a message went up to say the killer had been caught and executed when he tried to flee. (Mangled body guilty of all unsolved crimes in the city and neighbouring area’s found in pile of his own blood)….

[Zuram]

….. No one who has a choice every chooses to patrol the sewers looking to hunt the creatures that inhabit the fetid walk ways beneath the city. The sewer patrols tended to be made up of those desperate or hopeless enough that their only option is to take a job hunting the lizard-folk who inhabited the darkest and most decrepit parts of the sewer system. Zurum picked his way through the sewers heading towards the areas inhabited by the highest concentration of Lizard men thankfully those areas were no longer used for the waste from the city above. (We must be grateful for small mercies.)

“What exactly are we doing down here?” Zurum asked the human who followed him.

“Same thing as when you asked me 5 minutes ago” Luthar replied, “Making run down old sewers safe for he Legion. You know I hear they are planning on having holiday tours down here when we are done.”

“Ahh yes how could I have forgotten”. (Seems I can not no matter how much I try to forget I am under a city heading into a lair of creatures who most likely will kill me.) Walking on in silence for a few more minutes. Luthar held up his hand ahead he could hear something. Like humans Lizard-folk needed torches to see in the dark which meant they could clearly be seen. Half a dozen Lizard-folk sized shadows could be made out moving around a large fire. Drawing his bow Luthar indicated towards the nearest and let an arrow fly. The lizard man died horrible an arrow in his eye. The lizard men took only seconds to release they were under attack in that time Zurum had unleashed an arrows which missed sinking into the sewer water.

Dropping his bow Zurum charged the lizard men as they came charging at their attackers. Weapons meet lizard flesh. Blood, chaos, pain and death came together in an unforgiving sewers. Blood poured from wounds, lizards fled with severed limbs and Zurum stood his ground. (I would run but I don’t think I would get far, mangled corpse washed up with so much sewage hardly the end I wanted but the one I suspect I will get.) Luthar fired more arrows into the approaching Lizard men as Zurum blocked the stair way. “Not going exactly going to plan is it?” Luthar asked the grin on his face hidden in the dark.

“If we get killed down here there is always Thayan’s I hear there is a lot of opportunities for a mindless un-dead in their ranks.” Zurum said with a grunt as he hacked the head off another lizard-folk.

“Legion or death” Luthar said as another arrow found its mark.

Zurum just grunted too busy to reply. (I suspect death is more likely than the legion but what choice do we have at this point.) The battle lasted minutes but for those fighting, bleeding and dying it seemed to last a life time. Blood dripping from multiple wounds Zurum sat heavily on the floor. It didn’t matter that the floor was covered in blood some of it his. Luthar searched the corpses a few dozen golden stags and a strange amulet was all he found. Showing Zurum the amulet he smiled and said, “You know what this is?”, not waiting for Zurum to reply he continued, “Our path out of the Sewers and into the legion proper.”….

…..The second wind tavern a favoured stop on the route to Sundren, a few travellers could often be found in the tavern or on a nice day outside it. A few days early a body had been found by Zurum as he walked past it was hardly unique people died all the time but for a body to be left in such a public place was most often a warning. Still few sites match what Zurum saw as he turned the bend. An unconscious Halfling, a gnome having his head being smashed against the ground by another Halfling and a third hiding under a bench. As he got closer the one hiding under the bench jumped up shouting Orc and ran screaming for his life. (Looks like I am just in time for the annual small folks punch up.)


The gnomes head now bloody and cracked the Halfling that was beating him looked up stopping in his assault. Seeing Zurum, he said “This is non of your business Orc.” With that he attempted to lift the gnome onto his shoulders. Zurum watched the scene before speaking, “While none of my business was I am member of the Legion I would be reminisce in my duty if I did not point out assault and kidnapping are both criminal offences.” (I suspect it is a good job I am not a member of the legion yet, mangled body of legion member found outside popular tavern.)


The conversation would have gone on longer but the Halfling who had run off screaming Orc had taken this moment to bolster his courage and stab Zurum in the back. The rabbit skinning knife the Halfling had chosen to use bounced harmlessly off the half-orcs armour. Turning Zurum snarled at the Halfling, his scared face twisted his face into a demonic sneer. The Halfling passed out in fear to dream of being a hero and slaying orcs by the hundred. By the time he turned back the gnome and his halfling kidnapper had made it down the path and round a bend.

Entering the tavern Zurum spoke briefly with the inn keeper, the talk of the tavern had been a wizard had been attacking travellers as they travelled along the main trade route, the description given had been of a human or elf, in a dark hood casting magic’s while hidden. The tavern keeper offered a free ale to anyone who would go to the city and fetch the legion to deal with the bandit mage. Zurum stayed in the tavern drinking in a dark corner and picking at some over cooked meat.

[Zuram]

….. A small camp by the road side hardly even noticeable, half a dozen travellers sat and warmed themselves by the fire. If anything had been cooked it had long since been devoured and Zurum would have simply walked past on his patrol had it not been for the raised voices. The group consisted of six people four humans a gnome and a Halfling. The gnome Boddyknock Grumblykin, appeared to be in a heated argument with two of the humans. As he approached one of the other travellers, Terry Mard noticed the marking on Zurum’s shield and approached him. In hushed tones he explained what was going onto the legionnaire. “The woman Charlotte claims to be a witch, the man standing next to her is Trunsc and he claims to be her protector, the gnome has just arrived. He seems to be very excited about the fact she is a witch.” Terry said in hushed tones.


“Just great seems the full moon brings out all the weirdo’s” Zurum said as he looked over those assembled. (At least its just a gnome worst that he could probably do to me is bore me to death with his constant talking, not a good way to go but I can imagine many worse.)

The gnome started to speak very quickly his high pitched voice and the speed he spoke made following the conversation difficult. Being a gnome who knew a thing or two he knew that witches could tell the future and he requested that the witch tell his future. (Why anyone would want to have forewarning of which of a hundred painful and meaningless deaths awaited them was a mystery to me but so are a great many things such as charity, mercy and forgiveness.) The witch Charlotte looked slightly taken back by this turn of event’s and put some thought into what she said. “To tell your future I will need a lock of hair to aid my magic’s and make sure it is your future that I see.”

“I cut hair” Trunsc replied and drew out a mighty axe. At that moment everyone froze except Terry who took a strategic step to be behind the half orc. (Just great there I was thinking the gnome was going to be the issue here, but just like normal it’s the axe wielding seven foot tall barbarian manic that I am going to have to stop.)

“Eeeeek” Boddyknock screeched, “What’s wrong with you people I just want my hair cut not my head cleaved in as well!” (If I started to walk now I wonder if I could get round the next bend before the blood bath started.)

Charlotte put her hand on Trunc’s arm and calmed him down. Lowering the axe all assembled relaxed and Zurun released that he had been holding his breath. Taking out a small animal skinning knife she cut a lock of hair from the gnomes head. Walking over to the fire she slowly everyone turned to pay attention. Speaking in some dead language she cast the hair into the flames and watched as the foul smelling smoke rose up into the sky. (I have seen a man shoot flames from his fingers and a priest heal wounds by praying over them I still don’t believe in fortune tellers and soothsayers con artists and criminals all of them.)

Looking into the smoke Charlotte started to speak. “I see in the smoke what is to come to pass. You will be cheated in a business deal, something of great value will be sold for a few stags and something in your past which you have forgotten will be important in your future.” (Vague cryptic and bizarre, but did we really expect any different)


“Could you be more specific?” Boddyknock asked.

“I have told you all I have seen, what you do with that knowledge is your own business.” Charlotte replied. With that she moved away from the fire and sat cross legged on the floor the conversation clearly finished. Boddyknock took a step to follow her but a glance from Turnsc stopped him in his steps. (I wonder where I could find an attack dog like that, although given my track record the one I got would have a taste for Orc blood.)

The entertainment over the travellers went back to their own business, the barbarian cleaning his weapons and keeping an eye on the witch who hummed a tune. The gnome wandered off and now sure no one was going to start killing anyone Terry came out from behind Zurum and sat back next to the fire. Before he left Zurum lent in and whispered to Terry. Turning he continued on his patrol looking for bandits, thieves and other undesirables who hunted the trade road…..

[Zuram]

…… The forest of Viridale crawls with life, birds, animals and worse. The small Virdale outpost stood on its edge and stationed maybe a dozen or two legionnaires. The first and last line of defense and an early warning system if the gnolls, orcs and ogars should plan an attack outside the forest. Zuram stood by one of the small fires warming his hands, the other Legionnaires tended to give him a wide berth. (Not that I hold it against them, if I was one of them I would avoid the scared half blood.) A single new arrival headed towards Zuram, he walked up to the fire and stared into it, “Cold night.” Luthar said.

“Yes it is.” Zuram replied. (Bloody cold, not that complaining will improve the situation any.)

“Ready to start our patrol?” Luthar said, looking out into the forest, “Any idea what we will face out there, the guard captain wasn‘t very informative simply said we had scout out the area and be on the look out for Gnolls”

Zurum shrugged his shoulders, (Death and suffering would be my honest guess but people have always said I am an optimist.) Picking up his shield and sword Zurum headed out past the Legionnaires who stood on guard duty at the gate. They neither acknowledged his passing or wished him luck in his patrol. Luthar hurried after him into the dense forest. All around them the forest was alive with noise and movement. The patrol route took them deeper into the forest towards areas where Gnolls had been seen recently.

The wind picked up the only light the full moon above them had it not been for Zurum’s Orcish sight the night patrol would have been all but impossible. (Two hours of walking, well it could have been worse could have been attached and chassed through the forests by a horde of Gnolls for two hours.) Neither Zurum nor Luthar could be considered a woodsman but a half blind dwarf could have spotted the Gnoll camp in the clearing just off the path. Calling it a camp may have been optimistic a handful of Gnolls sleeping on stolen cloaks round a fire which had died out long ago hardly made a camp.

Nodding to Zurum, Luthar moved towards the Gnolls, sneaking as close as he could Luthar drew his bow and fired an arrow into one of the sleeping Gnolls. It awoke with a wailing scream, the next minute Zuram charged into the middle of the sleeping Gnolls his sword hacking into the creatures. Black blood covered the floor. A few of the Gnolls managed to stand and arm themselves before he was upon them. With the melee combat turning into a storm of destruction Luthar could no longer distinguish between Zurum and the Gnolls. Dropping his bow he charged into the battle stabbing one of the Gnolls who was approaching Zuram. In a manner of minutes the area was littered with the bodies of Gnolls, their broken weapons and blood stained bedding.

Panting hard Luthar looked around the camp site, “Perhaps we should move on before the bodies attract any wild animal?” he said.

Zurum nodded, he was too tired to reply more. (I thought things would be different in the human lands, but it seems all I am good for is killing.) “Perhaps when I have finished my tour in the Viridale outpost I can get station in the city.” Zuram said after a few minutes.

The patrol route twisted back and after another hour of walking dawn started to break. As the pair turned down what seemed to look like the path they had just followed they heard a commotion in the bushes. Reading themselves for attach a young bear cub came rolling out of the undergrowth. Already the size of a large dog it appeared to have a ridge of bone spikes shooting out of its fur.

“Looks like breakfast found us for a change.” Luthar said eyeing up the bear.

“Haven’t had bear meat in a while but I cant help but notice that bear doesn’t look normal.” (Not to mention half grown I would hate to meet its parents just as we roasted it on a spit.) As Zuram spoke the bear rolled over and playfully batted the air. (I would say it would tug at any heart strings but I am strangely unaffected.)

“I wonder if his thirsty?” Luthar asked, before waiting for a reply he reached into his pack and pulled out an old bottle of spirits. “Don’t need it following us back to camp.” Luthar continued as he poured out the spirits onto the ground in front of the bear cub.

“I don’t think bears drink hard liquor.” Zuram said as they watched the strange bear cub lap up the spirits. A few seconds later it let out a wailing sound. From some way behind it came a roar and the sound of an earth quake moving. Even in the early light the pair could see what appeared to be a 10 foot tall bear its back covered in huge bone spike running towards them. A moment look at each other and they started to run away from the bear. (Who would have thought trying to get a bear cub drunk would have been such a bad idea, really who.)

Very few things in life encourages someone to run like being chassed by a 3000 pound giant bear covered in bone spikes. (You would think I would be in better shape what with all this running.) Bursting through the under growth at some point they managed to escape the bear either that or it went back to protect its young the pair did not stop running until they crossed a small bridge less than ten minutes walk from Legion base camp.
Panting heard Luthar grinned as he spoke, “Well that was quite an eventful first patrol, seems some of the guys back at camp owe me a drink they predicted it would be my last as well.”

“Very nearly was if that bear had caught you.” Zuram replied as he headed back into the camp. This time the Legionnaire on gate duty greeted him as he entered. (Perhaps if I live long enough they might even like me, strangely enough I don’t actually care.) ....

[Zuram]

….“You know I don’t understand the point of these patrol’s” Luthar informed Zurum for the hundredth time, “I mean what is out here trees, forests more trees and oh lets not forget rain. It never stops raining personally I cant wait till we get out of forest patrol.”

“I hate forests, but at least there is no one out here to tell me they let anyone into the legion for the hundredth time.” Zurum grunted as they walked, “Still I am sure one of the people who has said that to me will end up in the legion prison one day. Then they will understand why the Legion let a half blood Orc in who likes knives and has no compassion or reason not to torture a man to death.”

“One can only hope” Luthar said he wasn’t really listening, he was looking at the gathering storm clouds approaching. By what he could only think was a minor miracle it had not rained for the entire patrol, he knew his luck would not hold. After all as he often said if it wasn’t for bad luck he would have no luck at all. Still they hadn’t encountered a single Gnoll and their patrol had taken them close to the edge of the forest far away from the more inhabited areas. Looking around Luthar noticed a disturbance in the forest. Walking over he called Zurum to see what he had found.

Looking down at the body Zurum summed up what he saw. (Goes to show we aren’t the most unlucky bastards in the forest.) The body was an elf male his age unknown, he lay there in nothing but his small clothes a single wound in his back, the area around the body was disturbed but a single path lead to the body. If either the legionnaires had been a woodsman they might have been able to check the tracks to known a couple of pairs of booted tracks had carried the body into the forest and dumped it, neither of them could.

“Doesn’t look like Gnolls did this but I can only imagine that’s what we are meant to think.” Luthar said as he poked the body with his foot, “Single wound in the back, robbed and not eaten, carried here and dumped I would imagine as their is no sign of a battle and the undergrowth is mostly undamaged.” (Plus there is no blood all over the place, and who in their right mind would come into this forest practically naked. Screw it who would come into this forest at all.) Luthar bent down and felt the ground letting some of the soil run through his fingers, he didn’t know why but he had seen a tracker do it once. “You going to put this in your report?”

“Yus yus.” Zurum said, “I wonder which language I should write it in Orcish again?”

“I didn’t know the Watch Captain read Orcish.” Luthar said with a little surprise.

“He doesn’t but as he doesn’t read any of my reports it really doesn’t matter.” Zurum made a quick note in his journal. Elf body slain by person or persons unknown. Stabbed in the back, robbed and dumped in the forest. Probably bandits maybe worse.(One almost wonders why I bother its not like anyone is going to care about a single dead elf.) “Lets get moving we don’t need the smell of dead meat drawing predators to us.”

The heveans opened up before they made it back to the encampment, Zurum’s heavy armour and helmet kept him mostly dry. Luthar got soaked, thankfully the rain also kept any of the more hostile creatures and humanoids from coming out of their caves. Zurum walked into the guard compound he didn’t consider many of the Legion his friends and he didn’t care, out here in the forest where every day could be you last they needed him and that meant at least they kept their thoughts about his Orc heritage to themselves. (And its not like there are no accidents out in the forest, mangled legionnaire body found rotting in the forest.)