PnP!

[Phantom Lamb]

In January, I'll be participating in my first PnP campaign in many years. I'm a little worried that the in-person reaction won't be as fun, and I'll have trouble pulling off roleplay with a straight face.

We'll also be playing 4th Edition DnD. There's a lot of haters right now, but I say, give it time. I think the system will lend itself very nicely to the electronic gaming world, and I'm all for simplifying DnD.

I'll be playing a tiefling wizard--a timid fellow who whispers in the party members' ears and plays the "devil's advocate." Get it?

Anyway. Here's the question, primarily to the men here: what is the best way to explain to your woman that you're going to play Dungeons and Dragons once a week?

[Maevan2]

Anyway. Here's the question, primarily to the men here: what is the best way to explain to your woman that you're going to play Dungeons and Dragons once a week?

Don't explain anything! You are the man! Or you could just take her with you. And if that doesn't work then bring her some flowers each time you play

[Phantom Lamb]

IDK! To me, DnD / roleplay has always been a secret, shamed life. I never speak about it publicly and get pretty embarassed when my friend tease me. Guess I'm trying to find the best way to bring it up without becoming a red-faced dork!

[Maevan2]

Well, in that case you might just claim that you are hanging around with your friends, get drunk and peer at other women

[Firechicken]

Most people where I am at place this game. lol

[Product of Void]

BAAAH, My wife has played PnP. My closet has my DnD books in there and she put them in there to keep from the kids. She listens to me ramble about stats and such.

Perhaps I have just more shameful thing then play PnP.

Myself just be truthful "Hey honey I want to hang out with a few friends drink, beer, flip each other crap, roll dice, and bullshit for a night. This will make me happy and I even have a audio file to listen too so you know exactly what we are doing".

Then you play Dead Ale's Wives "Dungeon and Dragon's" mp3 and let her realise the sad thing is that is actually close to the thing you wish to do.

you an also add that this will make you happy and then more cheerful to be around.

All else fails say "I am doing this" then after she gets all pissy come home in a good mood and bring flowers/ and or jewerly.

*edit*

I also bought my wife a doctor laura book "proper keep an feeding of a husband".

[Silas North]

I have never played PnP and never will, however I might as well try to offer whatever little insight I can. Presentation of the matter in itself seems to be what counts. Where some would see an 'rper', I see a 'storyteller'. Where some see a nerdy hobby, I see a creative outlet. The trick is merely tuning their eyes to better fit into my own outlook, either that or bring them to the point where they do not even bother to think twice about the matter.

-Never talk about your hobby to those that do not understand it and clearly do not seem the type to take an interest in it. If there is some curiousity, explain it in the fewest details possible. "Just some friends of mine get together, talk about our lives a little and play a game or two." An explanation like that is remarkably similar to the man who goes out for a 'poker night' with his friends. For some reasons, poker is generally more accepted in the eyes of the uncreative masses (even though it is far more likely to lead to far worse problems than PnP).

-When the topic makes its way to your hobby by someone that cannot appreciate it, subtlely change the topic. "Yeah, John seems all too willing to get out once in a while from his wife while she is pregnant, though he just ends up talking about her all the time anyway. *insert fake little snicker*". It can be difficult at first, but will come second nature in time.

-If the details about your hobby cannot be avoided, one advantage a DM has is the fact that DM is a 'job', or can be illustrated as such to someone that does not know better. PnP has the possibility of helping you better fulfill the role you have devoted yourself to. "Honey, I have a lot of people that count on me, and this helps me make them happy."

Illustrate the elements and aspects of your hobby that are similiar to other activities not seen as 'nerdy' to the judgemental dolts-er I mean your friends and family. By drawing a similiarity between the two types of activities, you will either cause one to cease stereotyping, cease, caring, or perhaps take an interest. Of course never truly open the door for someone unless you are certain they would take an ACTUAL interest. Do they like to read? Did they like Lord of the Rings or the Wheel of Time series? Are they someone that is not always serious all the time? The answers to questions like this can help you determine that much.

[Mattachine]

When my relationship with my partner went from just dating to a "relationship", I found myself in a similar situation.

I first mentioned to see a reaction, then addressed a couple misconceptions (such as the awful Mazes and Monsters TV movie from the 80's). Next, I explained D&D as a combination of a board game and storytelling. Finally, I said, aside from some money spent on books, it was a cheap way to spend time with friends.

The last one was the kicker.
;P

[Product of Void]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyxnEKTjhj0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UqFPujRZWo


Play this one for her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHdXG2gV01k

[Mattachine]

For "him", actually.
I loved that third clip, especially.

[Product of Void]

HIM?..pff what guy does not think "Gamer chicks are hot".

[TheBrogueadier]

An Corp!

*resserects thread*

It's a shame some folks are just plain scared of DnD.. When my current missus found out I used to do PnP she got fairly annoyed at the idea of me restarting - Bad experience with an ex apparently.

But I always think of a rather gutting encounter at a PnP session:

Used to play in London, most Mondays, at a pub near Oxford Circus/ TCR, it meant going dressed straight from work but was worth it for a laugh with friends.

One Monday, being the sole smoker in the group, I was stood out the front of the pub having a smoke when a rather attractive blonde lady came out and lit up.

We got to chatting; she was the only smoker in her group, worked as a furniture designer in Sweden but was from Finland originally, enjoyed lots of the same things and was over in the UK for the week to see some friends and go to the launch of an album. They were having a few drinks in the pub before heading down to Soho House. All rather nice.

Met a couple more times during the evening, either buying beer or smoking and have a good discussion on the merits of good shopping (she'd asked about my shirts which, due to my tastes at the time, were all purchased in Rome as it was hard to find the style I liked in the UK), the awesomeness of Rome, why I should go to Florence, how nice certain parts of Italy, Estonia, Finland and Sweden are, the greatness of Marimekko, Alvar Aalto, De Stijl, Shigeru Ban and assorted other contemporary and historical architects and designers. All in all we get on brilliantly, also turns out she's single, as was I at the time.

She asks where I am and what I'm doing later, being a bit dim on both counts I say I'm upstairs with some friends and I've got no plans, I've got the next day off as I've been pulling stupid hours over the last two week (damn clients) and I'm on TOIL for the rest of the weeks.

Brilliant!, she says, takes my card and says she'll try and grab me before the head to Soho and they'll card me into the House.


I really didn't think that through..

Sure enough, half an hour or so later she pops upstairs, expecting to find me and a couple of mates, instead she comes across a room of fairly classic PnP types, including a fair handful who are no real friend to the concept of personal hygiene. She stopped just past the enterance, gazed around the room with a look of abject horror, spotted me sat at a table brimming with books, shook her head and left.

[Phantom Lamb]

Pwnt.

[TamurtheLame]

I never feel embarassed when I tell people that I play AD&D and I actually had a group going for a couple years who are work mates. Some people look at me kinda of askance sometimes when I mention AD&D, but hey, I am the one that likes it and has fun playing it.

That aside, I would just be truthful with your wife, tell her it will only be once a week, tell her how it makes you feel, and maybe ask her to read one of the books just so she knows what it involves. Who knows, maybe she will be interested, especially since with paper, you can be much more storyteller, social, than in some electronic games.

[Product of Void]

hahaha that is awesome. Though from my younger years I too have a story on par with that... But I am not sharing it.