Silas Question: Sundren Toys

[Silas North]

Now for another kooky question brought forth by my neglect to take my proper medication.

Picture this scenario: Sundren has hit it big! Some bigwigs at Wizards of the Coast have decided to incorporate the land into their official lore, which results in new novels, player handbooks, game pieces, etc.

Saulus now has enough money to wipe his rear end with $100 bills, and has decided to take Sundren marketing into a new direction after two years of major success. Deciding to cater to a rather unusual series of fan requests, he is planning on making limited edition action figures of a set of characters from Sundren lore. He has decided to put you (as in you, the one reading this right now) in charge of selecting seven characters and what kind of 'pose' they are in. What do you do? Npcs or pcs could work.

(Note: Keep in mind this scenario is completely hypothetical. "Saulus would never do that" or "I'm not smart, like Silas, so I could never work in marketing" are not examples of acceptable answers. Not that... I could.. really stop you from posting those of course.)

[rustediron]

An exploding Malaclypse. Most definitely.

[Ceyrus Hawke]

Daelus the Ranger, with Dual Wielding drinking action grip™!

[Verrath]

Pyras the Red Wizard, with arm-flapping action.
Lauan - with improved "DUHHHH" sounds on a failed INT check!
Mathilda the Badger, comes complete with a lifelike chewed-on boot and starved-badger-begging action!

[Kangleton]

Hano Fetten bending over, with the looming Neradnal Ill'Koresh behind him.

[Kangleton]

Cirion Reliun, with removable pants.

[Kangleton]

Alcazar, complete with pull-string and resulting dialogue. Drugs sold seperately.

[Product of Void]

Hmm... Ashinet with Near port whore attire and over flowing bag of misc crap.

[Kaeldorn]

Nulinus with arms that are movable so he can place his hands in front of his scarred face, and of course a springing cloak.

A nasty looking Carmella Brendte with a push to talk button to spout random rants. Pushing the button again will increase her volume, and she can only be turned off if you take the batteries out.


Also, Mathilda should be included as a 'sidekick' of the Annie figure and have a magnet in her mouth. All figures' boots except Annie's should also be magnetic to make it possible to stick Mathilda on them.

[JuneyGnomey]

Everybody needs a Juniper plushy: slightly over-stuffed, with a permanent stitched-on smile, juxtaposed with a pull string that fires off one of a hundred thinly-veiled insults with every pull. Now with clockwork back-stabbing hand motion.

(Of course, anybody that has only experienced the "sweetness and light" side of Juney should ignore all the negative stuff above and continue being naive)

[JuneyGnomey]

Can we also have an Elusa Random Phrase Generator? It's basically a plastic rendition of her head and face with built-in Oxford English Dictionary microchip. Just push the button, and it assembles a completely random three or four word sentence, while nodding and blinking sagely as if it actually means something profound.

[Elusa]

It's already random. I have a d20 sitting beside me at all times so I can roll and see how crazy her next sentence is going to be. I just have to incorporate that into a software version.

[Thief Of Navarre]

Cirion Reliun, with removable pants.

I lol'd, the Carmella one was pretty cool too. I'd 'actually' buy a Dealus with dual arm drinking action!

You could even have an Etria & Forge which dispenses playdo weapons, non-toxic of course

[Urithrand]

Foulbreath with realistic scratch 'n' sniff smell, scratching his arse.

Sergeant Grayham with a sword raised above his head with a selection of shouted insults at th' blasted spittles.

Yashia Jadysvarion with her head in her hands with realistic crying effects.

Cirion's doll had to be pulled from production as it wasn't suitable for the eyes of children.

Red wizard holding a staff which repeats "I am an apple dumpling" over and over.

[Xeesheava]

All of the above mentioned in a limited LEGO edition. If Star Wars franchise can do it, why not Sundren?.