Another Baby Thread

[Kunoichi]

You know, I am really envious of all you people with children. Not because you have children, but because you haven't killed them yet. I consider myself a moderately patient person under some circumstances, however when I am solely relied on things begin to hit the fan. This is a story not about a baby, however... about a kitten.

Yes, a kitten. Today my father brings home a kitten. No, not just any kitten though... this one's eyes had just opened, can barely walk, and was obviously quite abandoned and dirty. Good job dad, you saved a homeless and defenseless animal.

And so... guess who has to take care of it now!

Having to wake up every 2 hours and mix formula to bottle-feed it, wiping its !@% with a warm rag until it excretes everywhere, and trying to keep my other felines from devouring it... things are rather stressful. Not to mention I've damn-near raised every animal in this house for the past lifetime.

This is not the first time I've had to raise an abandoned animal, however... I just don't see how you people can handle children. Of any age.

[MasterOfEternity]

You know, I burst out laughing when I read this. I love how you worded that. I'm sorry to say I have a cat, too, and she's entirely unpredictable (Chaotic Evil), so I know you're off worse. Heh, good luck with that.

-MoE

[Ebannon]

You wipe its butt to make it poo?

Sol you're going to have a little furry friend for life.

[Skro]

I hate childrens (preferently 0 to 13 years), they are the most stupid people on the fucking planet. I developed this feeling since the time when my dad taken us to a family meal with a customer and the kid of this customer (4 years old and he can't even talk well, stupid blabbering bastard) bothered me all the fucking day while I tried to talk with the customer's daughter (she was hot).

Also I hate the parents of that childrens, you know, the fathers unleash them on every park, beach, restaurant, arcade and bothers like a nuclear shit:

Park: Runing and screaming and throwing mud.
Beach: Runing, screaming, throwing sand, playing voleyball and coming where you are to ask: "w00t are j00 doin!?"
Restaurant: Runing and making a mess.
Arcade: Jamming every machine like a retard, and you can't say anything because their father it's more retarded than the children.

So, my solution in all that cases are:

1. Stop the children.
2. Say: "Santa Claus doesn't exists"
3. Watch it crying

[Gamling]

Everybody had to be a kid at least once in their life, unless you're a test tube baby.

Luckily for me, my cats are independant. I open the door, they run out, and come back. That's it, no litter box, just a food and water dish.

[Lanemeyer]

I hate childrens (preferently 0 to 13 years), they are the most stupid people on the fucking planet. I developed this feeling since the time when my dad taken us to a family meal with a customer and the kid of this customer (4 years old and he can't even talk well, stupid blabbering bastard) bothered me all the fucking day while I tried to talk with the customer's daughter (she was hot).

Also I hate the parents of that childrens, you know, the fathers unleash them on every park, beach, restaurant, arcade and bothers like a nuclear shit:

Park: Runing and screaming and throwing mud.
Beach: Runing, screaming, throwing sand, playing voleyball and coming where you are to ask: "w00t are j00 doin!?"
Restaurant: Runing and making a mess.
Arcade: Jamming every machine like a retard, and you can't say anything because their father it's more retarded than the children.

So, my solution in all that cases are:

1. Stop the children.
2. Say: "Santa Claus doesn't exists"
3. Watch it crying

LOL

God!! You almost killed me!! HAHAHA!!

[Kunoichi]

LOL I had no idea this thread would become so entertaining. I'm glad I complained about kitten bowel movements now.

[Demathos]

You wipe its butt to make it poo?

Sol you're going to have a little furry friend for life.

This will keep my laughing for about 25 minutes.

[Larando]

A kid is a far cry from a cat as far as the caretaking requirements...and much more fun to play with. And it's really cool when you take them to a restaraunt and watch them annoy everyone else! J/K Skro. That was for you.

And for hating kids, they don't all behave like little terrors. And until you've had one that depends on you look at you and smile, or run to you and throw their arms around you when you get home from a rough day at work, or grab your leg because they're scared and they know you're the go-to guy for safety, you'll never know the blessing they can be

But yeah...helping a kitten learn to poo is a little excessive. I'm pretty sure I'd pass the buck on that one...

[cmosier]

I have two children, one is four (my daughter) and one is two (my son). I delight in taking care of them. I read to them, talk to them, and take an active role in their upbringing. I do this for one reason, it brings me joy. Nobody forces me to be a father, it is a choice, and not everybody makes the same choice. The only thing worse than listening to children whine, is listening to adults whine about children, they are older and should know better.

[Gabryal]

I have.. unfortunately I have been where you are Kuno. The only real thing to do is to unscrew your head and remove the magnet that controls your moral compass, then the cat no longer can hypnotize you with it's adorable little eyes. Let me know how that works because I still haven't been able to get it to work

[MasterOfEternity]

... it's not that hard. There's a logical mathematic equation that solves the problem.

Boot + Cat + Window = Win.

-MoE

[Wedrewolf]

Good Post Larando I strongly agree, being a parent is the best job ever, Hands Down..

And I hate cats!!!!

[darcane]

I have two children, one is four (my daughter) and one is two (my son). I delight in taking care of them. I read to them, talk to them, and take an active role in their upbringing. I do this for one reason, it brings me joy. Nobody forces me to be a father, it is a choice, and not everybody makes the same choice. The only thing worse than listening to children whine, is listening to adults whine about children, they are older and should know better.

OHHHHH!!!