help me please [ college stuff ]

[Lanemeyer]

I got this text for a collage project and I had to write it in english, I don't need to use complicated words, but it can't have errors, can you guys help me, see if there are corrections to make?

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ABSTRACT

In the infant brazilian market, the Nestle baby foods are absolute leader in this segment. They have great variety, flavors and practicality.

However, the Nestle baby foods face some problems: your distribution is failure and, because of this, it's hard to find all flavors in the same sale-point; the current communication is strongly emotional and doesn't communicate clearly the attributes and benefits of the product; the project proposition is to increase the Nestle baby foods sales with a new communication campaign which focus in conquer new consumers and also in to increase the purchase frequency.

The strategy has been formulated from the marketing research, applied in order to know the reasons which lead the consumers not to use the product as a daily alimentation source, emphasizing their nutritional values in all communication and showing that the product has other qualities than those perceived by the target.

Key-words: infant aliments, varieties, nutritional values

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Thanks already guys!!

[Kaeldorn]

In the infant Brazilian market, Nestle Baby Foods is the absolute leader of its segment. They have great variety, flavors and practicality.

However, Nestle Baby Foods faces some problems: their distribution is lacking and it's difficult to make sure that all flavors can be found at each sales point; current advertisement??? is strongly based on emotions and doesn't communicate clearly the attributes and benefits of the product. The project proposition is to increase Nestle Baby Foods' sales with a new advertising??? campaign focused on winning over new consumers and increasing the total number of products sold.

A strategy has been derived from market research, which was done to reveal the reasons which have led to potential customers not consuming the product as a daily alimentation source. The proposed strategy is to emphasize the products' nutritional value in all advertisements??? and to show that the product has other qualities than those currently perceived by the targeted audience.



Perhaps a bit many changes, but I think that's how I'd write it
Oh and don't forget the accent on the last e in Nestle, which can't be used in posts on these forums.
EDIT: cleaned up some things with a few good suggestions by Jaeram.

[Jaeram]

I got this text for a collage project and I had to write it in english, I don't need to use complicated words, but it can't have errors, can you guys help me, see if there are corrections to make?

=============

ABSTRACT

In the Brazilian infant food market, the Nestle baby foods are the absolute leader of the division. They have great variety, flavors and practicality.

However, the Nestle baby foods face some problems. Their distribution is lacking and because of this it's hard to find all of the flavors at the same sale-point. Their current communication is strongly emotional and doesn't clearly communicate the attributes and benefits of the product. The project proposition is to increase the Nestle baby foods sales with a new communication campaign which focuses on bringing in new consumers and increasing their purchase frequency.

The strategy has been formulated from the marketing research applied, in order to know the reasons which lead to the consumers not using the product as a daily ailmentation source, emphasizing their nutritional values in all communication and showing that the product has other qualities than those perceived by the target.

Key-words: infant ailments, varieties, nutritional values

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Thanks already guys!!

I did my best to make corrections/improve the flow of the segment, while keeping the original message intact. Hopefully this is what you were looking for, and hopefully it helps. Anyone else, feel free to edit this, I had a bit of trouble on the last sentence.

Edit : Kaeldorn you must have finished yours right when I was beginning mine. You have some great ideas there though.

[MrDeadman]

Don't make me break this song out again.

OOOOOOOOO if you want it to be possesive it's just its. If you want it to be a contraction it's it[apostrophe]s... Scallywag!

[Kaeldorn]

Don't make me break this song out again.

OOOOOOOOO if you want it to be possesive it's just its. If you want it to be a contraction it's it[apostrophe]s... Scallywag!

Yeah yeah, it's fixed. Now shut it

[MrDeadman]

I actually had to steal that song from Strong Bad.


One more point. When you are talking about a business you will always want to have the full name written, which is,
in this instance, Nestle, which would be the Nestle Corporation, or the Nestle Corp. the first time you use it. After that you can refer to it as Nestle as it then references back to the origional usage.



P.S. It's spelled college.

[Lanemeyer]

Thanks so much, all of you!

You all rock!!

EDIT: I'm thinking about to take classes, I am talking to some friends to hire a particular teacher. What do you guys think? I would have less time to play, but sometimes I have great difficult to RP properly.

Hehe I always ask Sehron in tells things like "what does it means?" hehe.

Must be pretty annoying.

EDIT 2: By the way, I feel very ashamed when I ask things in tells, sounds like I'm a dumb person

[Lollercide]

Must be pretty annoying.

Not in the slightest. In fact, most of the community here seems to take pride in helping people, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Jaeram]

Yeah, if you ever have trouble in game feel free to send me a tell too. I've enjoyed RP'in with your characters, and you've helped me out a few times, so please, feel free, I love helping others.

On a side note, I didn't realize he misspelled college lol, I thought it was supposed to be a paragraph to go along with a collage. i.e. like a project made up of all kinds of pictures and other materials. I was pretty sure he was a student so it wouldn't be surprising to have a project like that.

I actually have a friend from high school who goes to the same University as me, and he is Vietnamese. Ever since we were in high school he had some trouble speaking/writing in english and if you didn't hang around with him a lot like me and a few other people you could listen to him and not even realize he was speaking english. So even now he'll send me his written papers for english classes and what not, so that I can proofread/correct/edit them for him so that his final work looks nicer when he turns it in.

I know he's a smart guy though, and not speaking the best english would never make me think differently of him. I can also relate in the sense that I've taken/studied a completely different language before, Japanese, and I know that whenever I would speak in that language to someone who was good at it like the teacher, a guest transfer student from Japan, or even just other students who were better than me, that it can seem kind of embarrassing, especially when you get hung up in the middle of a sentence and you're just sitting there, staring at them and trying to think of what to say.

Anyways, this has become more long winded than I had planned. I tend to do that sometimes. Just don't hesitate to drop a tell if you need a bit of assistance, I can try my best.

[KociPazur]

Hmmm ...
Don't be ashamed by your mistakes in English - yes, try to improve it - good idea - English comes very handy these days ... but don't be ashamed - many people make the mistake of judging others by the way they speak English and that's wrong. One can be intelligent, well educated, talented etc and not speaking English perfectly. But (not trying to offend anybody - sorry) many if not most people for whom English is their first language not only make the mistake of judging others by that and also don't speak any other language themselves ... but in English make more mistakes than a Brazilian student in college homework, innit ? LOL ... Yeah ... if you want to hear some REALLY bad English then come to the roots and hear the way many hurt their own language... than there is Ali G with a next level of broken English brought to the state of art.

[MKartMaster]

Last I checked, using a comma before the "and" in a list, despite being a stylistic choice, was usually the preferred style in the English language. EDIT: Scratch this bit. Totally stylistic.

I would un-contract any contractions you use. It could make you sound smarter and/or more official.

Other than that, I think the other posters got most of the errors.

[MrDeadman]

English is a very hard language to learn thanks to all its slang and rules and knowing when to break them. Most english speaking people can't write properly in english.

MKart, using a comma before the "and" or not is acceptable either way now-a-days.

[MKartMaster]

English is a very hard language to learn thanks to all its slang and rules and knowing when to break them. Most english speaking people can't write properly in english.

MKart, using a comma before the "and" or not is acceptable either way now-a-days.

First Point: Hells yes.
Second point: Good to know.

[MrDeadman]

Finally, I get to put my English degree to work. YES!

[Deathmage]

Heh, English has no rules whatsoever. Okay, it does, but then it goes and breaks them all. Crazy mixed Latin/Barbaric language!