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Hello worthless cretins, it is your old buddy Sandro here to prove once again that the Red Wizards are superior in every regard. Today's demonstration of Thayan supremacy: cooking!
To make an eggnog worthy of consumption by your wizard god-kings, please follow these simple instructions:
There you have it. Follow these steps and you too can bask in the adulation of your peers and their sycophantic smiles! Happy holidays from all your friends at the Enclave.
To make an eggnog worthy of consumption by your wizard god-kings, please follow these simple instructions:
- Obtain eight eggs. I suggest taking them from a farmer as tithing for gracing his meager dirt patch with your glorious presence.
- Get two bowls and separate the whites and yolks of the eggs between them. If it helps, pretend the yolks are you and your glorious golden friends and the disgusting mucus is the filthy Rashemi.
- Whip a slave while he whips the yolks until they turn a lighter shade of yellow. Do not let him stop mixing, but have him slowly add two 1/3 cup portions of sugar, a tablespoon of freshly ground nutmeg, two pints of whole milk, two cups of whipping cream, and six to eight ounces of some decent liquor (I recommend a fine brandy or cognac.) He may stop when your arm grows tired of beating him or the mixture looks fairly homogenous.
- Hand your whip to your favorite Knight, and have him coerce your mixing boy into whisking the egg whites until they form soft peaks. Remember to use a clean whisk, as any yolk in the whites will interfere with their ability to froth properly! If either the Knight or the slave complains about getting tired (this step can take awhile) kill him and replace him with a fresh one.
- Once soft peaks are obtained, sprinkle in two tablespoons of sugar and resume beating (who or whatever pleases you and gets the job done) until stiff peaks form. This can now be whisked into the bowl of all other ingredients to thicken the concoction.
- Cover the mixture and chill it for two to four hours. Use this time to plot how you will turn your guests upon one another and destroy them once they are weakened. Remember, the hand that pulls the strings must always be unseen!
- Serve your delicious brew to guests at your leisure. Presentation matters, and you would not want to lose face with your guests/enemies.
There you have it. Follow these steps and you too can bask in the adulation of your peers and their sycophantic smiles! Happy holidays from all your friends at the Enclave.
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