Epic Rap Battle of Sundren: Tornbrook v. Adeodatus, Round 2

[roguethree]

[Context: Dain just saw that the statue at Tyr's Fork has had the Tyr part blown off.]

Dain Tornbrook . . . VERSUS . . . Ahhhhhhhdeodatus Exitium!

BEGIN!

Dain
Black Hand's in trouble
Turned my statue to rubble
You thought I was righteous before
Man, your penance just doubled
I'm bringin' the fight
Put out your lights
With divine might and smites
Purgin' blights
I'm the gods-blessed sun in the night. Bitch.

Adeodatus
Righteousness
Measured in stone, or blood and bone?
A single monument brought under heel
By a fist wielding fire, hate, and zeal
That anger in your heart, you must feed it
Don't bleed it, Let grow
and burrow until you take a bite of the fruit
Reap what you sow

Dain
I see broken rock with my eyes
While your mouth's spewin' lies
But justice never dies
It survives, it thrives
Three gods true
Comin' for you, to your place
Bringin' pain you can taste
Holy fists up in your face
Knock you up into space
So you can crash like a comet
Airborne Banite vomit
With my boot on your neck
Teaching respect
And I'll say loud enough for you to hear
"Don't fuck with Tyr"

Adeodatus
Two eyes blind
One hand left behind
In a dog's jaws; this god is weak
You need order, discipline, and tyranny to wreak
Bane the immor-tal
Taking control of this hole
of a valley
that I'll eventually hold
In vain of this perverted just dictated by a blind man
Wielding scales like a blade
that cuts nothing
but the grade in which it's laid

Dain
Only the wicked need eyes to see
Your evil's plain to me
And this next lesson's free
Tyr lost eyes and a hand
but he's still around
But Bane went down
Smacked up
Got smoked by Tyr's backup
Yeah, second string
How do you think the Tyrant
would handle the real thing?
Torm came off the pine
To kick Bane's ass back into line
And Tyr saw
Blindness and all
How the Black Hand's pride
went before the fall
There's a reason they're the Dead Three:
because wannabe villains like you
gotta tangle with living legends like me
I put you down with all your friends
All you sinners
Save the world, kiss a baby,
and still get home in time for dinner

Adeodatus
Bane may have been slain
But he was never killed
Like a true chess player
He had plans A, B, C,
so the victor was nil.
Iyachtu Xvim, Bane's love child
Brought him back on a whim, ain't it wild
how much power he wields
A single shift in posture
shoots lightning bolts
into moon elf dolts
who fire their bolts too soon
But back up a sec
and get some perspective
Bane's crew is large and in charge
With Exarchs from Banehold
Who are at large, sarge
But your beef is with me and not my patron
So why don't you sit down and have some patience
Stiff, rigid, and inflexible
You couldn't beat me
Even if your hollow personality
Could sustain my painful charms
that worm into your heart
Now stop, relax, have some second thoughts
You're dealing with the big man
Not some petty vampire who's distraught


WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

[TheFarsight]

A challenger appears for the winner,
Brother Keegan Deverall wishes to take the mic.

[Kitsunestume]

Araman waits patiently in line, intent to do nothing but a few hand guestures and depart the stage, leaving the microphone in a bissfull aura of magical silence.

[votes Option D: "Turn off that infernal racket!"]

[SeekerofKnowledge]

Dain had the hate in his words, casually dismissing his opponent as I believe the rap battle community supports for someone in his position.

That said, I felt that Adeodatus pulled out the more coherent arguments. In the end his words, to me, seemed chosen more wisely and his insults more scathing. The votes seem to indicate that I have little understanding of this type of interaction.

*Edit* Props for the entire action though, it's nice when good and evil can get together and make pop culture references.