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“Jameson was right, you know.”
“About what?” Jaelle asked.
“About the Legion being used too fast and too much,” Ryder said, “About it being easier to fight than to negotiate. About how easily replaced we are, like cogs in a machine. About no one really caring about what it is we do, so long as they can live peacefully and away from the dirt and the grime and the blood and the guts and the death.”
“You never agreed with Jameson before,” Jaelle said.
“That's not true.” Ryder shook his head, “I said that he didn't know shit, and that his duty was to us. But I didn't say he was wrong. He should have listened to me. If he'd have followed his fucking orders he'd be alive now. Instead, I'm writing a letter home to his next of kin explaining how a kid with a satchel charge blew him to nothing because he thought it was a peace offering. I'll leave out the part where we washed him down the drain, because there wasn't anything big enough to pick up.”
“He would probably say he died for what he believed in.”
“Please. Jameson died for Jameson. Fuck. Walking up to a bunch of people whose land we just destroyed and acting like he was their friend. What an asshole. If I were one of them, I'd of shot him, too.”
Jaelle quirked her mouth to the side, studying Ryder, her squad leader, for a few moments.
“Shit. If Jameson were really interested in peace instead of his own little ego, he'd have done what I'm doing, and what you should do, Jaelle.” Ryder paused, “Follow orders. Stay alive. Make it through our term of infantry service. Join officer training and work our way up. Become the people who are giving the orders, not just following them. That's how we'll make peace when we can. And that's how I can live with 'just following orders'. Because I know that one day, I'll make those orders change.” Ryder closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
–
Ryder died one month later on a shithole assignment into the Mossdale. Jaelle's squad had walked into an ambush, and Ryder ordered them back while he provided a rear guard. He didn't last long. The rest of the squad fought their way out into the forest, back into what used to be Arbiter's Stand.
Ryder got a medal posthumously for bravery. Jaelle was promoted to sergeant and given command of the squad. Ryder's locker and tent were given to a new soldier named William, who was decent enough, as far as it went.
The Legion had replaced a cog, and she missed him.
-------
“Jameson was right, you know.”
“About what?” Jaelle asked.
“About the Legion being used too fast and too much,” Ryder said, “About it being easier to fight than to negotiate. About how easily replaced we are, like cogs in a machine. About no one really caring about what it is we do, so long as they can live peacefully and away from the dirt and the grime and the blood and the guts and the death.”
“You never agreed with Jameson before,” Jaelle said.
“That's not true.” Ryder shook his head, “I said that he didn't know shit, and that his duty was to us. But I didn't say he was wrong. He should have listened to me. If he'd have followed his fucking orders he'd be alive now. Instead, I'm writing a letter home to his next of kin explaining how a kid with a satchel charge blew him to nothing because he thought it was a peace offering. I'll leave out the part where we washed him down the drain, because there wasn't anything big enough to pick up.”
“He would probably say he died for what he believed in.”
“Please. Jameson died for Jameson. Fuck. Walking up to a bunch of people whose land we just destroyed and acting like he was their friend. What an asshole. If I were one of them, I'd of shot him, too.”
Jaelle quirked her mouth to the side, studying Ryder, her squad leader, for a few moments.
“Shit. If Jameson were really interested in peace instead of his own little ego, he'd have done what I'm doing, and what you should do, Jaelle.” Ryder paused, “Follow orders. Stay alive. Make it through our term of infantry service. Join officer training and work our way up. Become the people who are giving the orders, not just following them. That's how we'll make peace when we can. And that's how I can live with 'just following orders'. Because I know that one day, I'll make those orders change.” Ryder closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
–
Ryder died one month later on a shithole assignment into the Mossdale. Jaelle's squad had walked into an ambush, and Ryder ordered them back while he provided a rear guard. He didn't last long. The rest of the squad fought their way out into the forest, back into what used to be Arbiter's Stand.
Ryder got a medal posthumously for bravery. Jaelle was promoted to sergeant and given command of the squad. Ryder's locker and tent were given to a new soldier named William, who was decent enough, as far as it went.
The Legion had replaced a cog, and she missed him.